The Vampire Dancer Saga Chapter 9 Script: Miss Vampire America Dances to Win the Crown!

VanessaHope you enjoy this brilliant script for Chapter 9


Twelve ladies in their twenties wearing sashes and bathing suits all gather around a pool. On the sashes are names like Creep Kampvand, Susie May, Lynda Savage, Savvy Gavvy and Die U-British. Some of the ladies are sitting on the edge of the pool chatting and drinking fruity looking cocktails. Some are standing. Some are sitting on deck chairs. A couple of ladies are leaning against the bar where the drinks are being made although there is a butler with a tray serving drinks. There is a photographer and his assistant present. The flash goes off several times as he takes pictures.


Thank you, ladies. That will do. I think I have what I need. Enjoy your evening.

PHOTOGRAPHER and ASSISTANT pack up their things and go.


So what dance is everyone doing for the competition?


Check this out. I’m the queen of the Moon Walk.


I can see the future. And one day, I am going to marry the Running Man.

The ladies all giggle.


See if you can guess!Vanessa1

VIVID does the Cabbage Patch.


Cabbage Patch! Nice one. How about you Savvy?


How about me?

She does the Roger Rabbit, followed by the Sprinkler.


I do the Worm when no one is watching.

VANILLA proceeds to demonstrate.


Uh-oh! Look out girls. There she goes!


I want to see what Gia can do.


You asked for it! Marla, why don’t you come help me do the Electric Slide.

Soul FoodMARLA

I may have had just enough tequila to make that a possibility. Move over, girl.

As the two women begin to do the Electric Slide there is a flash of light and suddenly all the women find themselves standing in a kitchen where an over-weight woman is cooking something deep fried.


You guys, I think I glamoured us.

The woman catches her arm on fire. The ladies look on in shock for a moment and then VIVID jumps up. She grabs a dish towel, wets it and throws it around the fat woman’s arm.

She and VIVID look each other in the eye for a long moment.


Thank you, Vivid. That oughta just do it. You feel at home in this kitchen.


Hey guys, I think I’m going to stay. Go on ahead without me.

There is a flash of light and suddenly the girls are in the living room of a tiny house. There are several people already in the living room when they get there, including: IGNANT, HILDY, MARCO, JUSTY and DANNY MEAD.


Pointing and screaming at IGNANT.

Don’t you molest me one day in the Wistful Lanes, you pervert!



I’m sorry. I’m afraid you are just not qualified to apply for the secretary position.


I will make a good secretary for you one day, Danny.


I’m a good secretary, too, as long as I don’t have to work for people like Vanilla.


Girls, I think I’m going to stay on here and help Danny out. Why don’t you just go on without me?

There is a flash of light and the ladies find themselves on a lovely suburban street. Behind them a sign says “Wistful Lanes.” Several of the houses have “For Sale” signs in the front yard. As they look around them the girls begin to giggle and point.


Why not? It’s your fantasy. You can have anything you want.


Okay, then, I want that one.


No fair. . . I wanted that one. But that’s okay. I’ll take the blue one.


Oooo, my turn. I want that one. I like the rose bushes.


Well, as long as we can have anything, we might as well go for the best. I like that rather modern looking one. It appeals to me.


DesperateYou know, I may have to take the tall one right there. Call my solicitor and have him make the arrangements.

The girls all laugh but then two beautiful men, HAPPY LEO and BOB HUNT come running out of one of the occupied houses with papers in their hands.


Ladies, are you thinking about buying?


We have some of the greatest mortgage deals in the area.


Taking one of the papers and looking it over.

And the fantasy becomes a reality . . .


Why not? I’m in.


I’ve always wanted my own home.


In for a penny, in for a pound.


Give one of those here and let me look it over.


I don’t know if you should do that, Die. If you stay, you will be killed and Vanilla will get your house.


We are all going to end up being pretty desperate at these rates, but I’ll chance it. I think we’re set here. Why don’t you girls go on.The Jackson 5

There is a flash of light as the remaining ladies are transported to Motown Records. They stand outside of a recording booth watching five boys record a song. They are the Jackson 5.


I’m going to stick around and help these boys with their costumes and dance moves.


One day I am going to play you in a movie.


Maybe you will. But for now, I am going to stick around here to help these boys. The rest of you might as well go on.

There is again a flash of light as the remaining four now find themselves in a tiny doll house. There is a fake refrigerator with plastic food, a plastic stove and computer. Vanilla notices a very real CD, however, and slips it into her purse. Just then an android with a machine gun for an arm, broke into the room where the dollhouse was being kept.


EraserGive me that CD or there is going to be TROUBLE.

A secret agent comes through the door of the doll house.


Don’t worry, ladies, my name is Eckles. I’m with Vampire Witness Protection. We shrink vamps and transport them into doll houses to hide them. In this case, though, that doesn’t seem to have worked, so I am going to teleport you to Exterminators of the Future.


To Vanilla.

One day that Eckles is going to end up with Foxy Ricky.

There is another flash of light. The ladies are all dressed like Terminators. They are on a street that maybe Rodeo Drive. Marla notices a tall, muscular, male Terminator and steps up to him.Robocop


Back off, girls, this one is mine. Hey, there, handsome what is your name?


I’ll be back.

He disappears.


Who was that man?


That was the Governator. The first and original Terminator.


Hey, what about the contest? We need to get back.


Don’t worry. We just have to find the secret contestant, Sara Cunning. It should only take a few minutes and then we can go.

They hear a scream and then see TERMINATOR standing over the bleeding corpse of Sara Cunning.



Well, I guess that’s one less person to compete against.


Yeah, well, don’t forget: a mystery contestant can be replaced by any other competitor’s relative.


It’s going to be your sister Sherry. She will replace Sara Cunning. Now, if you girls Arnold Mariawill excuse me, I think I’m going to stand by my man. I don’t care what he’s done. He’s mine.

There is another flash of light. The remaining ladies return to the pageant where SHERRY is waiting nervously in the wings. She is dressed in full Belly Dancer attire. The other girls go back to the dressing rooms to get changed. Once SUZY is dressed, she pulls an envelope out of her bag and quietly slips it under one of the clipboards on the judges table before going back stage to wait in the wings with the other contestants.


And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s welcome our judges:

Judges enter and stand behind the table as their names are announced. When all the judges are present, they sit.

Okra Belfry . . . Terry Pliers . . . Triple T Debs . . . Margo Derek . . . Dulla Plaudool . . . Pinky Jade . . . Mob RaShell . . . and Laz Burman.

Vampire America PageantA montage ensues in which each contestant is seen showing off her talents. After each contestant we see the score each judge gives the contestants. Sherry does a belly dance but drops her cymbals and receives the lowest marks. Finally, the girls are reassembled on stage as the winners are announced.


Our fourth place winner is Sherry!

Coming in third is Gia!

That only leaves two contestants, ladies and gentlemen. Our new Miss Vampire America is Vanilla Willis! Congratulations Vanilla!


Hold on! Ms. Belfry, if you will look under your clip board, I think you will find something very interesting.

BELFRY looks under her clipboard to find the envelope SUZY stashed there earlier. She opens it and gasps.


Oh My! I think this definitely disqualifies Vanilla.Vanessa3

BELFRY passes the photos on to the judge next to her. More gasps.


She’s not wearing any clothes! I’m afraid nude photos disqualify you.


That makes Suzy our new Miss Vampire America!

SUZY is crowned as the other three huddle, watching.



I never took any nude photos!

GIAMiss America Vampire

I know, honey. But don’t you worry. This day will wash away. One day in the not too distant future, you will have a successful music and acting career that will overshadow this day, completely. So don’t you worry about it.


Gia, I’m tired.


Me too.


VampireDancer1Let’s go home.


I’ll meet you in St. Louis.








Would you cast Katarina Graham (The Vampire Diaries) to play Vanilla in The Vampire Dancer Saga?

The Vampire Dancer Saga Front

The Vampire Dancer Saga: Part 9 – Miss Vampire America dances to win the Crown, 6/24/12

VampireDancer1A fictional tale of dances from the 1900s-2010s

Part 9 – Miss Vampire America dances to win the Crown, the 1980s

“Hurry up Gia! You don’t want to miss my mom’s piano lesson. We have to finish on time so we can practice our dances for the contest,” said Vanilla. Gia and Vanilla were best friends at Syracuse University. Gia was visiting Vanilla the week before they were due to compete in the Miss Vampire America contest. Gia had won the state contest in Missouri and Vanilla was representing New York.

This was Gia’s first time in a national contest so she was surprised at how friendly the other contestants were. This year’s pageant would feature 13 unlucky competitors. Gia and Vanilla met 10 competitors one night at a pool party 2 days before the big contest:
Creep KampvandMJ Smooth
Susie May
Lynda Savage
Die U-British
Savvy Gavvy
Disgusting Bette
Vivid Wolf
Suzy Can’t Pass Up
Suzy Charlene Backstab
Marla Shrivel

MC HammerThey joked around, had some Margaritas and told everyone which dances they planned to do for the Dance Competition of the contest.

Vivid was going to show her best Cabbage Patch dance moves. Disgusting said she was the queen of the Moonwalk. Both Gia and Marla had the ability to see past and future events. So Marla bragged that one day she will marry The Running Man. Savvy liked doing the Roger Rabbit, Slam Dancing and the Sprinkler. While Vanilla admitted to doing the Robot and the Worm when no one was watching. Each lady took a turn showing off their favorite dances.

But when it was Gia’s time to demonstrate the Electric Slide, she accidentally “glamoured” instead.MJ Moon2

Gia began predicting future events during the glamour dance and since Marla was so near their combined supernatural abilities combined and shifted the 12 ladies into an Alternate Universe.

They looked around and noticed they were in a kitchen watching a woman cook some very Soulful Food. The lady’s arm caught on fire and Vivid was the first to react and help her. Fat Momma said, “You feel right at home in this kitchen Vivid”. Vanilla got mad at Vivid because she just remembered when Vivid stole her man. Vivid decided to stay in Fat Momma’s kitchen and told the remaining 11 to press on.

BettyNext they glamoured into a tiny house in New York. There was a crowd of people in the room, including Ignant, Hildy, Justy, Marko and Danny Meed. Savvy Gavvy screamed and shouted to Ignant, ‘Don’t you molest me one day in the Wistful Lanes, you pervert!” Then Danny told Hildy she was not qualified to apply for the secretary position. Disgusting stepped up and said, “I will make a great secretary for you one day Danny.” Marko cracked, ‘I’m a good secretary too, as long as I don’t have to work for people like Vanilla!” Disgusting Bette decided to stay and help Danny, but urged the remaining 10 to press on.

Then the ladies were teleported to a beautiful suburban street in the Wistful Lanes. They saw For Sale signs on 5 of the houses on the block. Just for fun, Creep Kampvand, Susie May, Lynda Savage, Die U-British and Savvy Gavvy picked out their favorite house. Just then, Happy Leo and his handsome husband Bob Hunt ran out and passed out mortgage contract offers to the 5 ladies. But then Marla had another prediction that Die U-British will get killed off and Vanilla was going to end up with her house anyway. So DieDesperate told the remaining ladies to press on as they planned to stay behind and be very, very Desperate!

Gia, Vanilla, Marla, Suzy 1 and Suzy 2 were now in Gary, IN. They were watching the Jackson 5 sing at Motown Records. Suzy Can’t Pass Up started helping the J5 with choreography steps and costume ideas. Gia told Vanilla that she will portray Suzy 1 in a movie one day. Suzy 1 said she needed to stay J5behind and help the Jackson 5, but told the remaining 4 to press on.

Suddenly Gia, Vanilla, Suzy 2 and Marla were teleported to Detroit, MI. But they felt like they were shrinking at the same time they were being teleported. They found themselves in a Dollhouse that was beautiful, but not functional. The refrigerator had fake food. The toilets did not have water and did not flush. The computers were only plastic, except for the CD on the computer desk. Just then a man burst in the room and said, “Give me that CD, or there’s going to be TROUBLE!” The ladies screamed because this man looked like half robot and half cop and his arm was a machine gun. Only EraserVanilla had the courage to slide up the computer table and hide the CD in her purse while she tried to distract the RobotKopper. Then Eckels came into the Dollhouse and explained how the Witness Protection for Vamps had the ability to shrink people so they can hide them in a Dollhouse. Gia told Vanilla that she had another prediction that one day Eckels will end up with her man Foxy Ricky. Eckels said, “Fear not ladies. I have another way to protect you from the RobotKopper. I will teleport you Robocopto Exterminators of the Future!” Eckels transformed into an Exterminator right in front of the ladies, then she glamoured them to go to LA.

By this time, it was the day before the Miss Vampire of America contest and Suzy 2 was getting nervous about making it back in time to compete. Eckels, said it will only take a few minutes for her to find the mystery contestant, Sara Cunning so she could teleport her safely to the contest. Then the ladies noticed a very handsome and muscular man. Marla shouted, “Back off bitches. This one is mine!” Marla asked the Sexy man his name and he said, “I’ll be Back!” They asked Eckels who was that sexy man that had on the same Exterminator outfit like hers. Eckels said, “He is the Governator the first and original Exterminator”! They heard Sara screaming and before they knew it, the Governator killed her. Suzy 2 laughed and said, “One less person to compete again in the contest!” Gia reminded Suzy 2 that a mystery contestant can be replaced by anyArnie competitor’s relative, even if they are from the same state. Marla announced that she was going to Stand By her Man and stay in California with the Governator; even though he was caught having sex with the maid. Before Marla left, she told Gia her prediction that Gia’s sister, Sherry will replace the mystery contestant.

Gia glamoured everyone back to the pageant just in time to complete. Conniving Suzy Charlene Backstab was determined to win at any cost. She got on her PC and photoshopped Vanilla’s head onto the body of a nude woman, then gave the nude “photoshopped” photos to the judges the day before the contest.

Each contestant performed their best song and dance during the competition. Sherry, Gia’s sister was the worst dancer of all. She performed a Belly Dance, but dropped her finger cymbals during the dance. She vowed to come back the next year and try harder.  Gia predicted that she will win next year, which she did.

Bom Tergeron announced the esteemed judges before crowning the winner. Please welcome our judges:
Okra BelfryDollhouse
Terry Pliers
Triple T Debs
Margo Derek
Dulla Plaudool
Pinky Jade
Mob RaShell
Laz Burman

Sherry noticed that the judges were her favorite TV and movie producers, dancers and directors. She planned to contact them about producing her book into a movie or TV show one day: Hint, Hint!

Bom was ready to announce the winners. “Our 4th runner up is Sherry. Our 3rd runner up is Gia.”

TerminatorThen Vanilla & Suzy 2 held hands, as they knew that one of them was about to be crowned Miss Vampire America.

Bom announced that the new Miss Vampire America is: Vanilla Willis!

The crowd went wild, as Vanilla was the first African American to win Miss Vampire America.

Suzy 2 got mad and snatched the mic from Bom, “Hold on everyone. I believe the judges have some very interesting photos of Vanilla.”

The judges looked at the fake “photoshopped” photos and announced that Vanilla had to give up the crown.MJ Thriller Suzy 2 snatched the crown from her head and started shouting, “I won, you lost!”

Gia told Vanilla, “That is okay. Don’t worry about it. You are going to be a very famous singer and actress one day. You will have very many top songs, win awards and do many great TV shows and movies. Your upcoming success will overshadow this day completely”.

Then Gia told Sherry, let’s go home. Sherry said, I agree, “I’ll Meet you back in St. Louis.” Moon1
Janet Jackson
For more Dance Gossip & Goodies, check out my book, “Learn to Belly Dance Textbook” available at and Barnes & Noble :


VanessaNow is your time to Join the Conversation! Comments, questions, concerns, controversy, rebuttals, tributes, blog suggestions, guest bloggers, etc., are all welcome!

Don’t miss Part 5 (Dances of the 1940s) coming soon.

What was your favorite movie, song, dance or actor from the 1980s?

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