Aug 19 2012

The Vampire Dancer Saga Chapter 9 Script: Miss Vampire America Dances to Win the Crown!

Hope you enjoy this brilliant script for Chapter 9

Twelve ladies in their twenties wearing sashes and bathing suits all gather around a pool. On the sashes are names like Creep Kampvand, Susie May, Lynda Savage, Savvy Gavvy and Die U-British. Some of the ladies are sitting on the edge of the pool chatting and drinking fruity looking cocktails. Some are standing. Some are sitting on deck chairs. A couple of ladies are leaning against the bar where the drinks are being made although there is a butler with a tray serving drinks. There is a photographer and his assistant present. The flash goes off several times as he takes pictures.

PHOTOGRAPHER

Thank you, ladies. That will do. I think I have what I need. Enjoy your evening.

PHOTOGRAPHER and ASSISTANT pack up their things and go.

VANILLA

So what dance is everyone doing for the competition?

DISGUSTING BETTE

Check this out. I’m the queen of the Moon Walk.

MARLA SHRIVEL

I can see the future. And one day, I am going to marry the Running Man.

The ladies all giggle.

VIVID WOLF

See if you can guess!

VIVID does the Cabbage Patch.

GIA

Cabbage Patch! Nice one. How about you Savvy?

SAVVY GAVVY

How about me?

She does the Roger Rabbit, followed by the Sprinkler.

VANILLA

I do the Worm when no one is watching.

VANILLA proceeds to demonstrate.

SUZY CAN’T PASS UP

Uh-oh! Look out girls. There she goes!

SUZY CHARLENE BACKSTAB

I want to see what Gia can do.

GIA

You asked for it! Marla, why don’t you come help me do the Electric Slide.

MARLA

I may have had just enough tequila to make that a possibility. Move over, girl.

As the two women begin to do the Electric Slide there is a flash of light and suddenly all the women find themselves standing in a kitchen where an over-weight woman is cooking something deep fried.

GIA

You guys, I think I glamoured us.

The woman catches her arm on fire. The ladies look on in shock for a moment and then VIVID jumps up. She grabs a dish towel, wets it and throws it around the fat woman’s arm.

She and VIVID look each other in the eye for a long moment.

FAT MAMMA

Thank you, Vivid. That oughta just do it. You feel at home in this kitchen.

VIVID

Hey guys, I think I’m going to stay. Go on ahead without me.

There is a flash of light and suddenly the girls are in the living room of a tiny house. There are several people already in the living room when they get there, including: IGNANT, HILDY, MARCO, JUSTY and DANNY MEAD.

SAVVY

Pointing and screaming at IGNANT.

Don’t you molest me one day in the Wistful Lanes, you pervert!

DANNY

To HILDY

I’m sorry. I’m afraid you are just not qualified to apply for the secretary position.

DISGUSTING BETTE

I will make a good secretary for you one day, Danny.

MARCO

I’m a good secretary, too, as long as I don’t have to work for people like Vanilla.

DISGUSTING BETTE

Girls, I think I’m going to stay on here and help Danny out. Why don’t you just go on without me?

There is a flash of light and the ladies find themselves on a lovely suburban street. Behind them a sign says “Wistful Lanes.” Several of the houses have “For Sale” signs in the front yard. As they look around them the girls begin to giggle and point.

VANILLA

Why not? It’s your fantasy. You can have anything you want.

CREEP

Okay, then, I want that one.

SUSIE MAY

No fair. . . I wanted that one. But that’s okay. I’ll take the blue one.

LYNDA SAVAGE

Oooo, my turn. I want that one. I like the rose bushes.

DIE U-BRITISH

Well, as long as we can have anything, we might as well go for the best. I like that rather modern looking one. It appeals to me.

SAVVY

You know, I may have to take the tall one right there. Call my solicitor and have him make the arrangements.

The girls all laugh but then two beautiful men, HAPPY LEO and BOB HUNT come running out of one of the occupied houses with papers in their hands.

LEO

Ladies, are you thinking about buying?

BOB

We have some of the greatest mortgage deals in the area.

CREEP

Taking one of the papers and looking it over.

And the fantasy becomes a reality . . .

LYNDA

Why not? I’m in.

SUSIE MAY

I’ve always wanted my own home.

SAVVY

In for a penny, in for a pound.

DIE

Give one of those here and let me look it over.

MARLA

I don’t know if you should do that, Die. If you stay, you will be killed and Vanilla will get your house.

DIE

We are all going to end up being pretty desperate at these rates, but I’ll chance it. I think we’re set here. Why don’t you girls go on.

There is a flash of light as the remaining ladies are transported to Motown Records. They stand outside of a recording booth watching five boys record a song. They are the Jackson 5.

SUZY CAN’T PASS UP

I’m going to stick around and help these boys with their costumes and dance moves.

VANILLA

One day I am going to play you in a movie.

SUZY 1

Maybe you will. But for now, I am going to stick around here to help these boys. The rest of you might as well go on.

There is again a flash of light as the remaining four now find themselves in a tiny doll house. There is a fake refrigerator with plastic food, a plastic stove and computer. Vanilla notices a very real CD, however, and slips it into her purse. Just then an android with a machine gun for an arm, broke into the room where the dollhouse was being kept.

ANDROID

Give me that CD or there is going to be TROUBLE.

A secret agent comes through the door of the doll house.

ECKLES

Don’t worry, ladies, my name is Eckles. I’m with Vampire Witness Protection. We shrink vamps and transport them into doll houses to hide them. In this case, though, that doesn’t seem to have worked, so I am going to teleport you to Exterminators of the Future.

GIA

To Vanilla.

One day that Eckles is going to end up with Foxy Ricky.

There is another flash of light. The ladies are all dressed like Terminators. They are on a street that maybe Rodeo Drive. Marla notices a tall, muscular, male Terminator and steps up to him.

MARLA

Back off, girls, this one is mine. Hey, there, handsome what is your name?

TERMINATOR

I’ll be back.

He disappears.

MARLA

Who was that man?

ECKLES

That was the Governator. The first and original Terminator.

SUZY 2

Hey, what about the contest? We need to get back.

ECKLES

Don’t worry. We just have to find the secret contestant, Sara Cunning. It should only take a few minutes and then we can go.

They hear a scream and then see TERMINATOR standing over the bleeding corpse of Sara Cunning.

SUZY 2

Laughing.

Well, I guess that’s one less person to compete against.

GIA

Yeah, well, don’t forget: a mystery contestant can be replaced by any other competitor’s relative.

MARLA

It’s going to be your sister Sherry. She will replace Sara Cunning. Now, if you girls will excuse me, I think I’m going to stand by my man. I don’t care what he’s done. He’s mine.

There is another flash of light. The remaining ladies return to the pageant where SHERRY is waiting nervously in the wings. She is dressed in full Belly Dancer attire. The other girls go back to the dressing rooms to get changed. Once SUZY is dressed, she pulls an envelope out of her bag and quietly slips it under one of the clipboards on the judges table before going back stage to wait in the wings with the other contestants.

ANNOUNCER

And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s welcome our judges:

Judges enter and stand behind the table as their names are announced. When all the judges are present, they sit.

Okra Belfry . . . Terry Pliers . . . Triple T Debs . . . Margo Derek . . . Dulla Plaudool . . . Pinky Jade . . . Mob RaShell . . . and Laz Burman.

A montage ensues in which each contestant is seen showing off her talents. After each contestant we see the score each judge gives the contestants. Sherry does a belly dance but drops her cymbals and receives the lowest marks. Finally, the girls are reassembled on stage as the winners are announced.

ANNOUNCER

Our fourth place winner is Sherry!

Coming in third is Gia!

That only leaves two contestants, ladies and gentlemen. Our new Miss Vampire America is Vanilla Willis! Congratulations Vanilla!

SUZY

Hold on! Ms. Belfry, if you will look under your clip board, I think you will find something very interesting.

BELFRY looks under her clipboard to find the envelope SUZY stashed there earlier. She opens it and gasps.

BELFRY

Oh My! I think this definitely disqualifies Vanilla.

BELFRY passes the photos on to the judge next to her. More gasps.

BURMAN

She’s not wearing any clothes! I’m afraid nude photos disqualify you.

JADE

That makes Suzy our new Miss Vampire America!

SUZY is crowned as the other three huddle, watching.

To GIA

VANILLA

I never took any nude photos!

GIA

I know, honey. But don’t you worry. This day will wash away. One day in the not too distant future, you will have a successful music and acting career that will overshadow this day, completely. So don’t you worry about it.

SHERRY

Gia, I’m tired.

VANILLA

Me too.

GIA

Let’s go home.

SHERRY

I’ll meet you in St. Louis.

FADE.

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Would you cast Katarina Graham (The Vampire Diaries) to play Vanilla in The Vampire Dancer Saga?

The Vampire Dancer Saga: Part 5: Dance Showdown in St. Louis, 6/25/12

A fictional tale of dances from the 1900s-2010s

Part 5: Dance Showdown in St. Louis, the 1940s

Kat Dealy replaced Rook Rurke as the co-host alongside Bom Terguson for the 3000 Vampire Olympics Finals.

“Welcome Hepcats to our 3000 Vampire Olympic Finals. Let’s give a big hand to our JEEJEDGES,” announced Kat as the Special Guest judges took their seat. Bom cracked and said, “No one can understand your cockney British accent Kat, why don’t you just say: Judges?”

The audience laughed and Kat turned red.

Kat continued, “As you know tonight’s very special competition will be to see which team can Change the World Back to the way events really happened. After our exciting Semi Final round where each team Changed the World Events from what originally happened. Without further adieu, let’s welcome back our Finalists!

Team Diary of the Mad Vamps, who showed us how killing Adolph Hitler would change the world.

Team Turd Blue who prevented slavery from happening in America.

And last but not least Team Butchers & Bakers who showed prevented the Titantic from sinking.

Let’s give them a big round of applause,” said Kat. Then she continued, “Let’s not forgot about the teams who did not make it to the Finals:

Teams Mutant Weirdoes, Spare Tracks, Braden Hunchbacks and Le Monsters! All of the teams are in the audience giving their full support to the remaining competitors. Let’s give them a big round of applause as well.”

Little did anyone know, Team Braden Hunchbacks was not in a supportive frame of mind at all. In fact, they felt they were cheated and should have been in the finals. So they hatched a plan to sabotage the Final competition. The secret plan was to distract the charming Special Police Witches while they were changing back the effects of stopping World War I. But their devious plan was to instead of stopping it, they were going to bring the war to the competition and combine it with the attack on Pearl Harbor and World War II. With WWI, WWII and the Pearl Harbor attacks combined, the Bradens could easily wipe out all of the Olympic Finalists so they could still have a chance of winning.

The Charming Witch Police and Collins were super busy that night. Not only did they have to reverse Team Mutants Weirdoes stopping World War I, but they also had to “glamour” in all of the special celebrity guests for the competition. Also the theme for the 3000 Vampire Olympics was Jive Dancing in the 1940s. So they also had to teleport the audience, guest and their costumes (like the Zoot Suit) back to the 1940s.

They were nearly exhausted just teleporting in the special guest performers like Leana Horn, Die-Anna Boss, ZooEee Dresser, Gudy Jarland, MiLiza Linnelli, Pritchard Prior, Jichael Mackson, Ripsy Nussell, Glees-Rachel Mama, Chuichi Nagumo, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Franken-Bum and the Great Gizzard of Woz. The hardest special guest to teleport in was Kab Kalloway, as he and his band would be replacing Mr. Wheel’s band for the Finals. Kab and the special guest performers were going to compete in a Gizzard of Woz Mini Contest. This contest will determine the best version of Woz, as each Team had 10 minutes to present songs, dances and scenes from their version.

The first team to compete in the Woz Mini Contest was Team Gudy Jarland. She and her daughter and the original cast got a rousing 10 minute standing ovation after their performance. Gudy had a secret weapon in the competition that gave her an edge. Her maid and cook, Viva Kelly was from St. Louis and had taught her team members a spirited version of the Jitterbug dance. Although this dance was cut from their 10 minute contest, Viva showed off a few steps at near the end. Gudy had to beg Viva to come tonight. Viva on the verge of getting a marriage proposal from her beau Jac’ichi. Jac’ichi was stuck in Japan on the Japanese Imperial Naval boat, awaiting shore leave orders to he could propose to his sweetie Viva.

Team Die-Anna Boss did a modern version of the Gizzard of Woz. The audience loved seeing Jichael Mackson again. This team did a great job by adding the both the West Coast and East Coast Swing and Jive.

Then Team ZooEee Dresser did cool 3 part presentation that featured the tin man as the prominent dancer for the Merengue number.

The audience was not too thrilled with the “Broadway” version Gizzard of Woz featuring Glees-Rachel Mama. But their version of the Lindy Hop Boogie-Woogie-style, was absolutely wicked.

The judges enjoyed a Salute to the 1940s by Kab Kalloway and his band with guest singers Leana Horne, Gudy Jarland and dances by the Nickles Brothers while they calculated the scores for the Mini-Contest.

Kat took the stage again and announced, The Mini Contest winner will be announced later in the show. But now it is time for our Vampire Olympic Team Finalists to show us how they have changed the world back. Let’s give it up for Teams Diary of the Mad Vamps, Team Turd Blue and Team Butchers & Bakers!”

The 3 teams were matched evenly with scores of 29 each. Just as the judges were about to announce the 3^rd place winner, Team Bradens of Hunchbacks grabbed the mic from Kat! Jane shouted “We should have won fair and square, now let’s show you how real magic is done!”

The audience gasped as they began seeing soldiers from WWI and WWII enter the room. The Japanese Imperial Naval boat soldiers began firing at the American WWI and WWII soldiers until Chuichi Nagumo ordered them to STAND DOWN! After they quit firing, then Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered the American soldiers to stand down as well.

Just then the charming Special Police Witches and the Collins captured Team Braden Hunchbacks. As a special punishment, they shrank the Bradens using voodoo dolls and then jailed them in a special enchanted Dollhouse. Eckels said, “I’ll take it from here” as she shrank herself and teleported into the Dollhouse.

Bom said it was time to announce the winner of the 3000 Vampire Olympics. “In 3^rd place we have the Butchers & Bakers!

And in 2^nd place we have, hold on just a second audience. For the first time in history, we have a TIE for first place. The winners are Teams Diary of the Mad Vamps and Team Turd Blue!”

Kat said, “Well isn’t that special? I wonder if that has something to do with the networks renewing both shows for the upcoming season?

And now it is time to announce the winner or our Mini Gizzard of Woz contest. The winner is: Team Gudy Jarland!

In honor of your special win, you may pick one special spell, potion, teleportation or glamour spell.”

Viva made a wish just then, “There’s no place like home.” Gudy granted that wish and more. She also arranged for Viva’s beau, Jac’ichi, to be released from the Japanese Concentration Camp and teleported him right into Viva’s arms. Viva and Jac’ichi planned to wed in her hometown.

Viva told him, “I can’t wait to meet you in St. Louis!”

Now is your time to Join the Conversation! Comments, questions, concerns, controversy, rebuttals, tributes, blog suggestions, guest bloggers, etc., are all welcome!

What was your favorite dance, singer, movie or fashion from the 1940s?

Jun 24 2012

The Vampire Dancer Saga: Part 9 – Miss Vampire America dances to win the Crown, 6/24/12

A fictional tale of dances from the 1900s-2010s

Part 9 – Miss Vampire America dances to win the Crown, the 1980s

“Hurry up Gia! You don’t want to miss my mom’s piano lesson. We have to finish on time so we can practice our dances for the contest,” said Vanilla. Gia and Vanilla were best friends at Syracuse University. Gia was visiting Vanilla the week before they were due to compete in the Miss Vampire America contest. Gia had won the state contest in Missouri and Vanilla was representing New York.

This was Gia’s first time in a national contest so she was surprised at how friendly the other contestants were. This year’s pageant would feature 13 unlucky competitors. Gia and Vanilla met 10 competitors one night at a pool party 2 days before the big contest:
Creep Kampvand
Susie May
Lynda Savage
Die U-British
Savvy Gavvy
Disgusting Bette
Vivid Wolf
Suzy Can’t Pass Up
Suzy Charlene Backstab
Marla Shrivel

They joked around, had some Margaritas and told everyone which dances they planned to do for the Dance Competition of the contest.

Vivid was going to show her best Cabbage Patch dance moves. Disgusting said she was the queen of the Moonwalk. Both Gia and Marla had the ability to see past and future events. So Marla bragged that one day she will marry The Running Man. Savvy liked doing the Roger Rabbit, Slam Dancing and the Sprinkler. While Vanilla admitted to doing the Robot and the Worm when no one was watching. Each lady took a turn showing off their favorite dances.

But when it was Gia’s time to demonstrate the Electric Slide, she accidentally “glamoured” instead.

Gia began predicting future events during the glamour dance and since Marla was so near their combined supernatural abilities combined and shifted the 12 ladies into an Alternate Universe.

They looked around and noticed they were in a kitchen watching a woman cook some very Soulful Food. The lady’s arm caught on fire and Vivid was the first to react and help her. Fat Momma said, “You feel right at home in this kitchen Vivid”. Vanilla got mad at Vivid because she just remembered when Vivid stole her man. Vivid decided to stay in Fat Momma’s kitchen and told the remaining 11 to press on.

Next they glamoured into a tiny house in New York. There was a crowd of people in the room, including Ignant, Hildy, Justy, Marko and Danny Meed. Savvy Gavvy screamed and shouted to Ignant, ‘Don’t you molest me one day in the Wistful Lanes, you pervert!” Then Danny told Hildy she was not qualified to apply for the secretary position. Disgusting stepped up and said, “I will make a great secretary for you one day Danny.” Marko cracked, ‘I’m a good secretary too, as long as I don’t have to work for people like Vanilla!” Disgusting Bette decided to stay and help Danny, but urged the remaining 10 to press on.

Then the ladies were teleported to a beautiful suburban street in the Wistful Lanes. They saw For Sale signs on 5 of the houses on the block. Just for fun, Creep Kampvand, Susie May, Lynda Savage, Die U-British and Savvy Gavvy picked out their favorite house. Just then, Happy Leo and his handsome husband Bob Hunt ran out and passed out mortgage contract offers to the 5 ladies. But then Marla had another prediction that Die U-British will get killed off and Vanilla was going to end up with her house anyway. So Die told the remaining ladies to press on as they planned to stay behind and be very, very Desperate!

Gia, Vanilla, Marla, Suzy 1 and Suzy 2 were now in Gary, IN. They were watching the Jackson 5 sing at Motown Records. Suzy Can’t Pass Up started helping the J5 with choreography steps and costume ideas. Gia told Vanilla that she will portray Suzy 1 in a movie one day. Suzy 1 said she needed to stay behind and help the Jackson 5, but told the remaining 4 to press on.

Suddenly Gia, Vanilla, Suzy 2 and Marla were teleported to Detroit, MI. But they felt like they were shrinking at the same time they were being teleported. They found themselves in a Dollhouse that was beautiful, but not functional. The refrigerator had fake food. The toilets did not have water and did not flush. The computers were only plastic, except for the CD on the computer desk. Just then a man burst in the room and said, “Give me that CD, or there’s going to be TROUBLE!” The ladies screamed because this man looked like half robot and half cop and his arm was a machine gun. Only Vanilla had the courage to slide up the computer table and hide the CD in her purse while she tried to distract the RobotKopper. Then Eckels came into the Dollhouse and explained how the Witness Protection for Vamps had the ability to shrink people so they can hide them in a Dollhouse. Gia told Vanilla that she had another prediction that one day Eckels will end up with her man Foxy Ricky. Eckels said, “Fear not ladies. I have another way to protect you from the RobotKopper. I will teleport you to Exterminators of the Future!” Eckels transformed into an Exterminator right in front of the ladies, then she glamoured them to go to LA.

By this time, it was the day before the Miss Vampire of America contest and Suzy 2 was getting nervous about making it back in time to compete. Eckels, said it will only take a few minutes for her to find the mystery contestant, Sara Cunning so she could teleport her safely to the contest. Then the ladies noticed a very handsome and muscular man. Marla shouted, “Back off bitches. This one is mine!” Marla asked the Sexy man his name and he said, “I’ll be Back!” They asked Eckels who was that sexy man that had on the same Exterminator outfit like hers. Eckels said, “He is the Governator the first and original Exterminator”! They heard Sara screaming and before they knew it, the Governator killed her. Suzy 2 laughed and said, “One less person to compete again in the contest!” Gia reminded Suzy 2 that a mystery contestant can be replaced by any competitor’s relative, even if they are from the same state. Marla announced that she was going to Stand By her Man and stay in California with the Governator; even though he was caught having sex with the maid. Before Marla left, she told Gia her prediction that Gia’s sister, Sherry will replace the mystery contestant.

Gia glamoured everyone back to the pageant just in time to complete. Conniving Suzy Charlene Backstab was determined to win at any cost. She got on her PC and photoshopped Vanilla’s head onto the body of a nude woman, then gave the nude “photoshopped” photos to the judges the day before the contest.

Each contestant performed their best song and dance during the competition. Sherry, Gia’s sister was the worst dancer of all. She performed a Belly Dance, but dropped her finger cymbals during the dance. She vowed to come back the next year and try harder. Gia predicted that she will win next year, which she did.

Bom Tergeron announced the esteemed judges before crowning the winner. Please welcome our judges:
Okra Belfry
Terry Pliers
Triple T Debs
Margo Derek
Dulla Plaudool
Pinky Jade
Mob RaShell
Laz Burman

Sherry noticed that the judges were her favorite TV and movie producers, dancers and directors. She planned to contact them about producing her book into a movie or TV show one day: Hint, Hint!

Bom was ready to announce the winners. “Our 4^th runner up is Sherry. Our 3^rd runner up is Gia.”

Then Vanilla & Suzy 2 held hands, as they knew that one of them was about to be crowned Miss Vampire America.

Bom announced that the new Miss Vampire America is: Vanilla Willis!

The crowd went wild, as Vanilla was the first African American to win Miss Vampire America.

Suzy 2 got mad and snatched the mic from Bom, “Hold on everyone. I believe the judges have some very interesting photos of Vanilla.”

The judges looked at the fake “photoshopped” photos and announced that Vanilla had to give up the crown. Suzy 2 snatched the crown from her head and started shouting, “I won, you lost!”

Gia told Vanilla, “That is okay. Don’t worry about it. You are going to be a very famous singer and actress one day. You will have very many top songs, win awards and do many great TV shows and movies. Your upcoming success will overshadow this day completely”.

Then Gia told Sherry, let’s go home. Sherry said, I agree, “I’ll Meet you back in St. Louis.”

Now is your time to Join the Conversation! Comments, questions, concerns, controversy, rebuttals, tributes, blog suggestions, guest bloggers, etc., are all welcome!

Don’t miss Part 5 (Dances of the 1940s) coming soon.

What was your favorite movie, song, dance or actor from the 1980s?

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Jun 23 2012

The Vampire Dancer Saga: Part 2 – Dance can Change the World, 6/23/12

A fictional tale of dances from the 1900s-2010s

Part 2 – Dance can Change the World, the 1910s

Bom Tergeron was looking very handsome, dapper and fine, as usual, as he prepared for the Vampire Olympic Semi Finals.

“Welcome to our 3000 Vampire Olympic Semi Finals,” shouted Bom as the audience and judges took their seats.

Let’s welcome back our 4 remaining teams:

Diary of the Mad Vamps, at the top of the leaderboard with 30 points!
Turd Blue, tied for 2^nd place with 29 points
Mutant Weirdoes, also tied for 2^nd place with 29 points
Butchers & Bakers, at the bottom of the leaderboard with 28 points

Tonight’s competition will be very exciting! Each team has 3 challenging tasks in order to move to the Finals:

Use their best spell or potion to Glamour the team into St. Louis 1910, the day before the 10^th year competition
After they arrive in 1910 St. Louis, have their dancers perform an authentic dance from 1910, wearing the same costume fashions of that era. The Best Dance routine can earn an extra 2 points and give the Team 32 points total instead of 30. After the dance competition each team can change back into their 3000 year fashions.
Then each team will use a combination of their best glamour dances, spells, potions and ability to see past & future events to change a Signification Event in World History.

We have not forgotten about each team’s great ability to use Vampire Defense Skills. So while you are “visiting” that World Event, you might need to claw, scratch and kick your way out of any fights by using your best shape shifters and fighting skills. You will be provided with a special “duplicator” effect that can make it appear that you have thousands or millions of fighters in the event you end up in the middle of a large war or confrontation.

Let’s have each team come up and pick a World Event from the basket that Rook Rurke is holding.

Bom announced the World Events that each Team must change:

Diary of the Mad Vamps Kill Adolf Hitler
Turd Blue Prevent Slavery from happening in America
Mutant Weirdoes Stop World War I
Butchers & Bakers Prevent the Titanic from Sinking

The audience gasped and booed. They shouted, “It is wrong to kill Hitler for a competition, even after what he did!”

Bom said, “Calm down and relax everyone. This is a temporary “kill” and Adolf Hitler will die as planned in 1945. The competition will only “glamour” the effects of the change in World Events. But caution Teams, if you don’t return the World as is in tomorrow’s Finals, the changes will become permanent!” Also Teams, be very careful as some of the World Changes will temporarily affect Team Members as the events are changed.

The audience was still restless and shouted, “How can it be changed back, if you plan to eliminate one team?”

Bom reassured them that the Special Witch Police team of charming ladies in conjunction with the reigning champions, The Collins, will have more than enough power to reverse the effects made by the team that will be eliminated and not going to the Finals.”

The audience expressed a sigh of relief.

Before we get started on the competition, let’s welcome our special guest musical artist, Celine Dion. The crowd cheered loudly as Celine sang, “My Heart Will Go On” from the 1997 film Titantic.

And the Butchers and Bakers Team could not be happier that Celine was singing the theme song from the movie Titanic. The judges and audience loved Celine’s performance. But there was one fat guy in the audience, who booed and shouted, “Showboating Canadian Hussy!”

Now let’s get started by having each Team glamour into 1910 and prepare to do an authentic dance of that era. Let’s give them 10 minutes to start as the audience and judges plan to glamour to meet them there.

The audience was really enjoying the dance part of the Olympic Competition.

The Diary of the Mad Vamps did a combination of Animal dances like the Kangaroo Hop, the Duck Waddle, The Turkey Trot and the Bunny Hug Dance.

Team Turd Blue did a sensual Gaucho Dance

Mutant Weirdoes played it safe by doing The Grizzly Bear Dance

But the Butchers & Bakers stole the show doing a Cakewalk Dance to Ragtime Music. They had actually glamoured Scott Joplin from the Alternate Universe and had him as their guest musician while they danced.

Bom announced the Team that will earn the 2 extra points for the Dance Competition. It was the Butchers & Bakers! Now Team Butchers and Bakers are tied for 1^st place with Diary of the Mad Vamps with a combined score of 30 each.

First up in the Change World Event challenge was the Diary of the Mad Vamps. Batty did a spell to kill Adolf Hitler on April 29, 1945. They glamoured Anne Frank to show the audience how different her life would have been with this historical change. Anne Frank ended up being a successful screen writer who glamoured to different times and places to write scripts for Fran Dresher and many others.

Next up, the Team Turd Blue showed an emotional journey of how ending Slavery affected both Africa and the US. They gave presentations on how it affected the racial populations of each country. Also they had the audience turn to look at the Butchers & Bakers during the presentation. They pointed out how their look was temporarily changed to affect their hair, outfits and jewelry. Pelvis got the audience laughing as he joked how Big Daddy now looked like King Jaffe Joffe and Granny looked similar to Queen Aeoleon from the movie, Coming to America.

Then the Mutant Weirdoes demonstrated the affects of World War 1 never happening. They summoned Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria, his wife Sophie and their children to give a special presentation on how the War affected their family. The Team also showed an Alternate Version of the World where Ferdinand and Sophie lived past the year 1914. The crowd loved this special presentation.

Team Butchers & Bakers were the last to present their Challenge of Saving the Titantic. They summoned all 1,514 survivors of the Titantic as the DTSDS band plays an encore of “My Heart Will Go On.” In addition to the 1,514 Titantic Survivors, they glamoured the entire ship onto the stage in its pre-wrecked condition. Then they summoned all actors from the 1997 movie as well as US President Thomas Woodrow Wilson. The crowd went wild and gave them a 10 minute standing ovation!

Bom is back to announce the team that will be eliminated before the Finals.

All of our Teams did a great job and here are the results of the judges’ scores and audience votes.

Rook then says, “We have 2 couples in the Bottom 2 this evening. Please welcome Teams Turd Blue and The Diary of the Mad Vamps!”

Both Teams stand in the red light of Doom. Bom continues, on this day in the year 1910, the following team will leave the competition. The team with the lowest score and now leaving the Vampire Olympics is:

Long pause while the drums play a heartbeat.

Team Mutant Weirdoes!

Bom and Rook ask the Team to come to the stage. Rook asks, “What will be your favorite memory of this competition?” Wiz speaks for the group and says his favorite part was turning into a werewolf and kicking ass during on the battlefield.” Bom said, “Let’s give them one last dance as they perform The Grizzly Bear.” The crowd cheers and claps.

But Snookie is rolling her eyes at the remaining competitor and taunts, “We are going to kick your sorry asses at the Vampire Olympic Final Showdown in St. Louis!”

Now is your time to join the Conversation! Comments, questions, concerns, controversy, rebuttals, tributes, blog suggestions, guest bloggers, etc., are all welcome!

Don’t miss Part 5 (Dances of the 1940s) coming soon.

If you could go back and time and change an Event in World History, which event would you change and why?

Jun 22 2012

The Vampire Dancer Saga: Part 1 – Dancing makes you Buff! 6/22/12

A fictional tale of dances from the 1900s-2010s

Part 1: Dancing makes you Buff! the 1900s

“Places everyone. Quiet please,” shouted host Bom Tergeron. With that, the judges, KarAnna, Blen & Runo from DWSDS and Ligel Nitchgow & Murph Mare from SYTYCV with special guest judge Triple T Debs took their places at the Judges Table.

Bom said it is time to explain the rules for this very special year 3000 Vampire Olympics that happens every 10 years. This year’s competition included the following categories:

Part 1: Supernatural Protection Skills

Vampire Defense (fending off against wooden stakes, silver, garlic, decapitation)
Best Power (Witchcraft, Spell, Potion, Premonition or Voodoo Skills)
Strongest Shifter (Mummy, Zombie, Wolf, Ram or Hart)

The 4 teams that make it past Part 1 of the competition will move to Semi-Finals

Part 2: World Transformation

Change the World Events from what originally happened

The remaining 3 teams will compete for the winner of the 3000 Vampire Olympics

Part 3: World Transformation

Change the World back to the way events really happened

The Winners will receive:

First Place A Black tricked-out Coffin that has special lights for Vampires, built-in TV, DVD, PC, Internet, Mini Kitchen filled with blood vials, Toilet & Shower; they will also receive a Black Voodoo Doll Head with Special Powers
2^nd Place A Purple mini version of a Rhinestone Coffin, this one only has a built-in TV
3^rd Place A Wooden mini-coffin filled with blood vials, including AB, A, B and O.

The winners from 2090, the Collins (LaBelle, Jack, Ed, Lisa and Barnaby), were on hand to pick the Location and Year for this year’s competition.

LaBelle took the mic and announced that the Year will be 1900 and the Location will be St. Louis, MO. Each team had 1 hour for each competition (Vampire Defense, Best Power and Shifting), with 10 minutes to prepare for each challenge.

First each team has a 10 minute limit to use their Best Power to shift them into the time and place for the event. Once they arrive, they must “Glamour” the location so that no ordinary citizens can view the guests from the future.

After all judges and audience members have teleported there to view, then each team can start the first competition – Vampire Defense.

The Judges will eliminate 1 of the 7 teams during the 10 minute intermission using a combination of their scores and the audience votes
The remaining 6 teams will now compete in the Best Power competition.
The Judges will eliminate 1 of 6 teams during the last 10 minute intermission.
The remaining 5 teams will now compete in the Strongest Shifter competition.
The Judges will eliminate 1 of 5 teams after the Shifter competition.
The remaining 5 teams will go to the Semi-Finals.

To ensure that there would absolutely be no CHEATING, a special enforcement team of Super Witches will oversee all Glamour, potions, spells, voodoo and seeing past and future events. Just, then very charming ladies took the stage. LaBelle said, “May I present our Special Witch Police for the Vampire Olympics: Meddling Granny, Prunes, Pippa, Feeble and Pageant! Don’t these ladies look charming?”

The crowded went wild with excitement, especially since Meddling Granny and Prunes had not died in the Alternate Universe.

Bom said, “Let the 3000 Vampire Olympics competition begin!”

The 7 Teams passed the Torch from team to team and then Bom lit the cauldron with the torch flame.

Bom said, ‘I am proud to present this year’s competitors. Please give a warm welcome to the following teams.”

Each team came out 1 by 1 and was applauded loudly by the crowd:

Mutant Weirdoes (SunniHell, CA)
Buff Dude (Vampire vanquisher)
Angela (Vampire)
Zanadu (Glamour dancer)
Will Potter (Male witch from London)
Wiz (Werewolf)
Diary of the Mad Vamps (Thinspace 5, VA)
B’Lanna (Glamour dancer)
Demon (Googly eyed Zombie)
Satan (Wimp Vamp)
CatTwin (B’Lanna from the Alternate Universe, also a dancer)
Batty (Witchcraft)
Turd Blue (Temptations, LA)
Snookie (Bitch Witch from New Jersey)
Pelvis (Elvis from the Alternate Universe, Pelvic dancer)
Jake Brickhouse (Womanizer)
RuPaul Fayette (A vampire that can shift to man, woman or mixture of both)
Sara Thor (Voodoo Dancer)
Le Monsters (New Orleans, LA)
Grandpa Jacob (Vampire)
Edward (Werewolf)
Hermes (Frankenstein)
Lila (Bride of Frankenstein and Witch)
Marla (Marilyn Monroe from the Alternate Universe, Glamour Dancer)
Spare Tracks (Railroad Captains from the Future)
Cisco Ten (Emits prophets of past or future events)
Picky John (Borg, Can seduce any woman or man)
Bill Fatner (Can smash vampires by sitting on them)
Copy Hipburns (Glamour Dancer)
Archie Dracula (Leaps while Ruining Cult Favorites)
Butchers & Bakers (Jackson, MS)
Big Daddy (Butcher)
Granny Smith (Witch)
Aunt Ethel (Country Cooking & Potions)
Dolf Jr. (Werewolf)
Sherry (Glamour Dancer & can Freeze Time)
The Braden Hunchbacks (Notre Dame, IN)
Mitchell Braden (Wife Beater)
Caroline Braden (Witch)
Jane Braden (Can Freeze Time)
Cynthia Braden (Can see past & future events)
Alyce Braden (Glamour Dancer & can Move Items)

Then Meddling Granny announced that it was time for each team to use their Super powers to take their team back in time to St. Louis, MO in 1900.

Team Butchers & Bakers were the first team to arrive in St. Louis. They had an advantage since Big Daddy had family there in town. So they were quite familiar with the town and townsfolk. Granny Smith laughed as she saw the ladies of that time wearing those God-awful heavy dresses. She remembered wearing those dresses how hot they were during the summer. Big Daddy and Granny visited their relatives, who taught them a quick dance. The dance will come in handy during the competition because it was from the 1900s.

The Glamour Dancers and Voodoo Dancers from the other teams were planning to use dances from the 1900s as well to impress the judges. They studied from Loie Fuller and other dancer greats who taught them Ballroom and Tango dances.

Each team can get 2 extra points for great dancing skills shown during each 3 parts of the competition. So dance was very important if you wanted to win.

The first team, Le Monsters, took the stage to show off their Vampire Defense Skills. This team had been around the longest but their killings skills were campy, old school and stale. Then it was time for the Mutant Weirdoes. This team had actually set the pace for any other Genre Team that followed. The Collins, Charming Special Witch Police and Diary of the Mad Vamps had all copied and imitated their style to become cult favorites.

The Mutant Weirdoes had a special skill of “Trash Talking” and using a certain slang and cracking jokes whilst vanquishing the vampires. They easily won the Vampire Defense Competition.

The worst team in Vampire Defense was The Braden Hunchbacks. There was too much bickering during the Vampire Defense, with Jane shouting, “Marsha, Marsha, Marsha” while she froze time. Then they had the nerve to try to vanquish a vamp while posing on a staircase. That move was so out of style from 1969. They were loudly booed as they were eliminated and thrown out.

Next came the Best Power Competition. The Turd Blue team showed a fantastic tree offering and transformation into a Dionysus-worshipping Maenad. The crowd went wild and the ratings soared for their sponsor GoHoBos. The ladies in the audience swooned when Pelvis sang the song “Bad Things” and transformed it to a chant for Snookie, “I want to do real bad things to you.” The ladies just loved hearing him say, “Snookie” in that sexy, Deep South twang.

The Spare Tracks team did awful in the Best Power category. They tried to transform an audience member into a Borg by chanting, “Resistance is Futile.” But the audience member was listening to music from their IPod so the transformation did not work.. So the Spare Track team members begin turning on each other and shouting insults like, “Bill why didn’t you sit on that vamp and smash him. Archie why didn’t you leap into that into audience member and pretend to be a Borg? Way to go Archie, you have lost all of our cult followers now!” The crowd booed “Beam them up Snotty” as the team teleported away from the competition.

The final category was Best Shape Shifter. The Diary of the Mad Vamps team easily won this category. They shifted into their versions of doubles from the Alternate Universe. But not only that, they conjured the St. Louis Arch from the year 1967, since the competition was held in the same location, but it hadn’t been built yet. To top that off, they showed the judges a time relapse movie of the Arch as it was being planned from a model from 1947 to 1963. Then they showed a mirror image of the 1967 Arch next to the 2067 Arch. The judges gave them extra points since the Arch from 2067 was copper, not green. The crowd went wild when they saw the Arch. The Diary of the Mad Vamps easily won the Best Shape Shifter category.

The ending order of the Teams for the 3 categories were:

Diary of the Mad Vamps, 1^st place
Turd Blue, 2^nd place
Mutant Weirdoes, 3^rd place
Butchers & Bakers, 4^th place
Spare Tracks, 5^th place
Braden Hunchbacks, 6^th place
Le Monsters, 7^th place

The remaining 4 teams were very proud that they will be moving on the Semi-Finals of the Vampire Olympics.

Angela from the Mutant Weirdoes Team shouted, “Let’s get Ready to Rumble for our next Vampire Olympic Showdown in St. Louis!”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tango_dance
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burlesque
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loie_Fuller
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silent_film
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_monroe
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elvis_Pressley
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hunchback_of_Notre_Dame
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dracula
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frankenstein

The Vampire Dancer Saga is coming soon to Amazon and Barnes and Noble (ISBN 9781477142172, July 2012)

Learn to Belly Dance Textbook & Certification Program available now at:
AMAZON:
http://www.amazon.com/Learn-Belly-Textbook-Certification-Program/dp/1465346589/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1341875947&sr=8-1&keywords=learn+to+belly+dance+textbook
BARNES & NOBLE:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/learn-to-belly-dance-textbook-certification-program-shalimar-ali/1105014103?ean=9781465346582&itm=1&usri=9781465346582

Comments are welcome! Contact me at:
FACEBOOK
http://www.facebook.com/people/Shalimar-Ali/1459163265
TWITTER
www.twitter.com/shalimaral
YOUTUBE
http://www.youtube.com/user/Shalimarali
WORDPRESS
https://learnbellydancewithshalimarali.com/

Now is your time to Join the Conversation! Comments, questions, concerns, controversy, rebuttals, tributes, blog suggestions, guest bloggers, etc., are all welcome!

Don’t miss Part 2 (Dances of the 1910s) coming soon.

What is your favorite memory, visit or image of St. Louis, MO?

shalimarali

Dance, Belly Dance, Vampires, TV, Movies, Cooking, Gaming, Celebrities

Tag Archives: Tom Bergeron

The Vampire Dancer Saga Chapter 9 Script: Miss Vampire America Dances to Win the Crown!

The Vampire Dancer Saga: Part 5: Dance Showdown in St. Louis, 6/25/12

The Vampire Dancer Saga: Part 9 – Miss Vampire America dances to win the Crown, 6/24/12

The Vampire Dancer Saga: Part 2 – Dance can Change the World, 6/23/12

The Vampire Dancer Saga: Part 1 – Dancing makes you Buff! 6/22/12

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