Casting Call: Which actors would you cast to play DWTS (Tom Bergeron, Brooke Burke), SYTYCD (Nigel Lythgoe, Mary Murphy or Cat Deeley), or Buffy characters in the Movie Version of The Vampire Dancer Saga?

The Vampire Dancer SagaI’m working on having a script written for my newly published book, The Vampire Dancer Saga.  Who do you think will be great to cast in the spoofs of Dancing with the Stars, So You Think You Can Dance and Buffy the Vampire Slayer BTVS cast members?

Let’s see if you agree with my cast suggestions:

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
This casting is super EASY!  Let’s put most of the actors from the cancelled The Secret Circle back to work:

Mutant Weirdoes (SunniHell, CA)
Buff Dude (Vampire vanquisher)Chris Zylka
Angela (Vampire)
Zanadu (Glamour dancer)
Will Potter (Male witch from London)
Wiz (Werewolf)

Phoebe TonkinYou may have noticed that Buffy is now a Buff DUDE (she’s a man, baby) and Angel is now a GIRL (Angela).  Also Xander and Willow have switched genders as well.  With that in mind, here are my choices:

  • Buff Dude is now Chris Zylka (who played Jake Armstrong on The Secret Circle)
  • Angela is now Phoebe Tonkin (who played Faye Chamberlain on The Secret Circle)
  • Zanadu is now Shelley Hennig (who played Diana Meade on The Secret Circle)
    Will Potter is now Thomas Dekker (who played Adam Conant on The Secret Circle), hope you don’t mind a bit of red hair dye to look more like Willow, LOL
  • Wiz is now Gray Damon (who played Lee LaBeque on The Secret Circle)

Shelley HennigNext, let’s take a look at the “So You Think You Can Vamp” cast:

“Places everyone. Quiet please,” shouted host Bom Tergeron. With that, the judges, KarAnna, Blen & Runo from DWSDS and Ligel Nitchgow & Murph Mare from SYTYCV with special guest judge Triple T Debs took their places at the Judges Table.

  • For Mare Thomas DekkerMurph, I would recommend an actress who can dance such as Summer Glau.  We’ve seen her dance in episodes of Firefly, Angel and Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.  She is a bit young to be Mare, but I bet she can shout HOT TAMALE TRAIN just like Mary!
  • For Ligel Nitchgow, I would recommend Anthony Steward Head from Buffy The Vampire Slayer.  Anthony is only 5 years younger than the “real” Nigel, so that would be perfect.  What is he up to these days anyway?
  • For Bom Tergeron, I would recommend Sean Maher from Firefly, Warehouse 13 and The Playboy Club.  He is 20 years younger than the “real” Tom but with a bit of gray hairs (ala George Clooney), he will look very handsome.Gray Damon

Kat Dealy replaced Rook Rurke as the co-host alongside Bom Tergeron for the 3000 Vampire Olympics Finals.  “Welcome Hepcats to our 3000 Vampire Olympic Finals. Let’s give a big hand to our JEEJEDGES,” announced Kat as the Special Guest judges took their seat. Bom cracked and said, “No one can understand your cockney British accent Kat, why don’t you just say: Judges?”

  • ForSummer Glau Kat Dealy, I would recommend Kaley Cuoco from Charmed and The Big Bang Theory.
  • For Rook Rurke, I would recommend Morena Baccarin from Firefly, V and Serenity,

Wow!  I just can’t get Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Firefly out of my head.  I love ANYTHING by the master producer JOSS WHEDON!!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Secret_Circle
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffy_the_Vampire_Slayer_%28TV_series%29
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dancing_with_the_Stars_%28U.S._TV_series%29
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/So_You_Think_You_Can_Dance_%28United_States%29
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Murphy_%28choreographer%29Anthony Head
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Summer_Glau
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nigel_Lythgoe
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthony_Head
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Bergeron
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sean_Maher
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brook_burke
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morena_Baccarin
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat_Deeley
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaley_Cuoco
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joss_Whedon
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firefly_%28TV_series%29
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charmed
https://learnbellydancewithshalimarali.com/2012/06/22/the-vampire-dancer-saga-part-1-dancing-makes-you-buff-62212/Sean Maher
https://learnbellydancewithshalimarali.com/2012/06/25/the-vampire-dancer-saga-part-5-dance-showdown-in-st-louis-62512/
https://learnbellydancewithshalimarali.com/2012/06/20/the-vampire-dancer-saga-part-11-dancing-with-some-dead-stars-62012/

THE VAMPIRE DANCER SAGA IS NOW AVAILABLE AT AMAZON and BARNES & NOBLE!!!
AMAZON PAPERBACK:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Vampire-Dancer-Saga-Shalimar/dp/1477142177/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1344040118&sr=8-1&keywords=the+vampire+dancer+saga
AMAZON KINDLE:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008P3089W
BARNES & NOBLE PAPERBACK:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-vampire-dancer-saga-shalimar-ali/1112297703?ean=9781477142172

Kaley CuocoMorena_Baccarin

What do you think of these casting suggestions?

Who would you cast in the screenplay of THE VAMPIRE DANCER SAGA?

The Vampire Dancer Saga back cover

The Vampire Dancer Saga: Part 1 – Dancing makes you Buff! 6/22/12

VampireDancer1A fictional tale of dances from the 1900s-2010s

Part 1: Dancing makes you Buff! the 1900s

“Places everyone. Quiet please,” shouted host Bom Tergeron. With that, the judges, KarAnna, Blen & Runo from DWSDS and Ligel Nitchgow & Murph Mare from SYTYCV with special guest judge Triple T Debs took their places at the Judges Table.

Bom said it is time to explain the rules for this very special year 3000 Vampire Olympics that happens every 10 years. This year’s competition included the following categories:

Part 1: Supernatural Protection Skills

  1. Vampire Defense (fending off against wooden stakes, silver, garlic, decapitation)VoodooDancer
  2. Best Power (Witchcraft, Spell, Potion, Premonition or Voodoo Skills)
  3. Strongest Shifter (Mummy, Zombie, Wolf, Ram or Hart)

The 4 teams that make it past Part 1 of the competition will move to Semi-Finals

Part 2: World Transformation

Change the World Events from what originally happened

The remaining 3 teams will compete for the winner of the 3000 Vampire Olympics

StLouis1900cPart 3: World Transformation

  1. Change the World back to the way events really happened

The Winners will receive:

  1. First Place A Black tricked-out Coffin that has special lights for Vampires, built-in TV, DVD, PC, Internet, Mini Kitchen filled with blood vials, Toilet & Shower; they will also receive a Black Voodoo Doll Head with Special PowersCoffin7
  2. 2nd Place A Purple mini version of a Rhinestone Coffin, this one only has a built-in TV
  3. 3rd Place A Wooden mini-coffin filled with blood vials, including AB, A, B and O.

The winners from 2090, the Collins (LaBelle, Jack, Ed, Lisa and Barnaby), were on hand to pick the Location and Year for this year’s competition.

LaBelle took the mic and announced that the Year will be 1900 and the Location will be St. Louis, MO. Each team had 1 hour for each competition (Vampire Defense, Best Power and Shifting), with 10 TrekCaptainsminutes to prepare for each challenge.

First each team has a 10 minute limit to use their Best Power to shift them into the time and place for the event. Once they arrive, they must “Glamour” the location so that no ordinary citizens can view the guests from the future.

After all judges and audience members have teleported there to view, then each team can start the first competition – Vampire Defense.

The Judges will eliminate 1 of the 7 teams during the 10 minute intermission using a combination of their scores and the audience votesMarilyn3
The remaining 6 teams will now compete in the Best Power competition.
The Judges will eliminate 1 of 6 teams during the last 10 minute intermission.
The remaining 5 teams will now compete in the Strongest Shifter competition.
The Judges will eliminate 1 of 5 teams after the Shifter competition.
The remaining 5 teams will go to the Semi-Finals.

TwilightTo ensure that there would absolutely be no CHEATING, a special enforcement team of Super Witches will oversee all Glamour, potions, spells, voodoo and seeing past and future events. Just, then very charming ladies took the stage. LaBelle said, “May I present our Special Witch Police for the Vampire Olympics: Meddling Granny, Prunes, Pippa, Feeble and Pageant! Don’t these ladies look charming?”

The crowded went wild with excitement, especially since Meddling Granny and Prunes had not died in the Alternate Universe.

Bom said, “Let the 3000 Vampire Olympics competition begin!”Charmed

The 7 Teams passed the Torch from team to team and then Bom lit the cauldron with the torch flame.

Bom said, ‘I am proud to present this year’s competitors. Please give a warm welcome to the following teams.”

Each team came out 1 by 1 and was applauded loudly by the crowd:

  • Mutant Weirdoes (SunniHell, CA)
    Buff Dude (Vampire vanquisher)
    Angela (Vampire)
    Zanadu (Glamour dancer)
    Will Potter (Male witch from London)
    Wiz (Werewolf)Buffy1
  • Diary of the Mad Vamps (Thinspace 5, VA)
    B’Lanna (Glamour dancer)
    Demon (Googly eyed Zombie)
    Satan (Wimp Vamp)
    CatTwin (B’Lanna from the Alternate Universe, also a dancer)
    Batty (Witchcraft)
  • Turd Blue (Temptations, LA)
    Snookie (Bitch Witch from New Jersey)
    Pelvis (Elvis from the Alternate Universe, Pelvic dancer)
    Jake Brickhouse (Womanizer)
    RuPaul Fayette (A vampire that can shift to man, woman or mixture of both)
    Sara Thor (Voodoo Dancer)
  • Le Monsters (New Orleans, LA)TrueBlood2
    Grandpa Jacob (Vampire)
    Edward (Werewolf)
    Hermes (Frankenstein)
    Lila (Bride of Frankenstein and Witch)
    Marla (Marilyn Monroe from the Alternate Universe, Glamour Dancer)
  • Spare Tracks (Railroad Captains from the Future)
    Cisco Ten (Emits prophets of past or future events)
    Picky John (Borg, Can seduce any woman or man)
    Bill Fatner (Can smash vampires by sitting on them)
    Copy Hipburns (Glamour Dancer)
    Archie Dracula (Leaps while Ruining Cult Favorites)VampireDiary1
  • Butchers & Bakers (Jackson, MS)
    Big Daddy (Butcher)
    Granny Smith (Witch)
    Aunt Ethel (Country Cooking & Potions)
    Dolf Jr. (Werewolf)
    Sherry (Glamour Dancer & can Freeze Time)
  • The Braden Hunchbacks (Notre Dame, IN)
    Mitchell Braden (Wife Beater)
    Caroline Braden (Witch)
    Jane Braden (Can Freeze Time)
    Cynthia Braden (Can see past & future events)
    Alyce Braden (Glamour Dancer & can Move Items)

Then Meddling Granny announced that it was time for each team to use their Super powers to take their team back iBrideFrankensteinn time to St. Louis, MO in 1900.

Team Butchers & Bakers were the first team to arrive in St. Louis. They had an advantage since Big Daddy had family there in town. So they were quite familiar with the town and townsfolk. Granny Smith laughed as she saw the ladies of that time wearing those God-awful heavy dresses. She remembered wearing those dresses how hot they were during the summer. Big Daddy and Granny visited their relatives, who taught them a quick dance. The dance will come in handy during the competition because it was from the 1900s.

The Glamour Dancers and Voodoo Dancers from the other teams were planning to use dances from the 1900s as well to impress the judges. They studied from Loie Fuller and other dancer greats who taught them Ballroom and Tango dances.

TangoEach team can get 2 extra points for great dancing skills shown during each 3 parts of the competition. So dance was very important if you wanted to win.

The first team, Le Monsters, took the stage to show off their Vampire Defense Skills. This team had been around the longest but their killings skills were campy, old school and stale. Then it was time for the Mutant Weirdoes. This team had actually set the pace for any other Genre Team that followed. The Collins, Charming Special Witch Police and Diary of the Mad Vamps had all copied and imitated their style to become cult favorites.

The Mutant Weirdoes had a special skill of “Trash Talking” and using a certain slang and cracking jokes whilst vanquishing the vampires. They easily won the Buffy ParkVampire Defense Competition.

The worst team in Vampire Defense was The Braden Hunchbacks. There was too much bickering during the Vampire Defense, with Jane shouting, “Marsha, Marsha, Marsha” while she froze time. Then they had the nerve to try to vanquish a vamp while posing on a staircase. That move was so out of style from 1969. They were loudly booed as they were eliminated and thrown out.

Next came the Best Power Competition. The Turd Blue team Elvis2showed a fantastic tree offering and transformation into a Dionysus-worshipping Maenad. The crowd went wild and the ratings soared for their sponsor GoHoBos. The ladies in the audience swooned when Pelvis sang the song “Bad Things” and transformed it to a chant for Snookie, “I want to do real bad things to you.” The ladies just loved hearing him say, “Snookie” in that sexy, Deep South twang.

TrueBlood3

The Spare Tracks team did awful in the Best Power category. They tried to transform an audience member into a Borg by chanting, “Resistance is Futile.” But the audience member was listening to music from their IPod so the transformation did not work.. So the Spare Track team members begin turning on each other and shouting insults like, “Bill why didn’t you sit on that vamp and smash him. Archie why didn’t you leap into that into audience member and pretend to be a Borg? Way to go Archie, you have lost all of our cult followers now!” The crowd booed “Beam them up Snotty” as the team teleported away from the competition.Janeway

The final category was Best Shape Shifter. The Diary of the Mad Vamps team easily won this category. They shifted into their versions of doubles from the Alternate Universe. But not only that, they conjured the St. Louis Arch fromborg the year 1967, since the competition was held in the same location, but it hadn’t been built yet. To top that off, they showed the judges a time relapse movie of the Arch as it was being planned from a model from 1947 to 1963. Then they showed a mirror image of the 1967 Arch next to the 2067 Arch. The judges gave them extra points since the Arch from 2067 was copper, not green. The crowd went wild when they saw the Arch. The Diary of the Mad Vamps easily won the Best Shape Shifter category.

The ending order of the Teams for the 3 categories were:

  1. Diary of the Mad Vamps, 1st placeArch
  2. Turd Blue, 2nd place
  3. Mutant Weirdoes, 3rd place
  4. Butchers & Bakers, 4th place
  5. Spare Tracks, 5th place
  6. Braden Hunchbacks, 6th place
  7. Le Monsters, 7th place

The remaining 4 teams were very proud that they will be moving on the Semi-Finals of the Vampire Olympics.

Angela from the Mutant Weirdoes Team shouted, “Let’s get Ready to Rumble for our next Vampire Olympic Showdown in St. Louis!”

Oz Park

Brady Vampires

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tango_dance
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BurlesqueBallroom
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loie_Fuller
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silent_film
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_monroe
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elvis_Pressley
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hunchback_of_Notre_Dame
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dracula
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frankenstein

The Vampire Dancer Saga is coming soon to Amazon and Barnes and Noble (ISBN 9781477142172, July 2012)

Learn to Belly Dance Textbook & Certification Program available now at:
AMAZON:
http://www.amazon.com/Learn-Belly-Textbook-Certification-Program/dp/1465346589/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1341875947&sr=8-1&keywords=learn+to+belly+dance+textbook
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Now is your time to Join the Conversation! Comments, questions, concerns, controversy, rebuttals, tributes, blog suggestions, guest bloggers, etc., are all welcome!

Don’t miss Part 2 (Dances of the 1910s) coming soon.

What is your favorite memory, visit or image of St. Louis, MO?

The Vampire Dancer Saga: Part 11 – Dancing with some Dead Stars 6/20/12

VampireDancer1A fictional tale of dances from the 1900s-2010s

Part 11 – Dancing with some Dead Stars, the 2000s

Sherry was so sick of her life and her house. She had recently found 3 bats in her house, one in her bedroom, one in the kids room and one that always hung around the kitchen.  Strangely enough, the bats had human faces, which creeped her out even more. If she didn’t know any better, those bat faces looked strangely like her grandkids. Have they been playing around with the Glamour so they could fly around and frighten their grandma?

She needed a much needed vacation. Just get away from her house and stressful job for just one weekend. Not that she didn’t love her family and especially her beloved grandkids, Dragon Ball Booga, VuDaje and Tuppers. But the boredom of day-to-day was too much to handle.

The bat in her kitchen tried to communicate with her. It said, “Don’t forget to use Great Granny’s Glamour Alicia Keyspotion.” Sherry remembered how much fun it was when Leana used the Glamour on her when she was kid. She still had a little bag left of the potion and wanted to use it in the most fun way as possible.

Sherry had already dabbled using the potion to Glamour her favorite dancers, like Triple T Debs and Elly Powers. She would often “jump” into their films or TV shows pretending to be them and then teaching their dance moves to her granddaughters after the Glamour.

She had also Glamoured herself onto her favorite Dance Show, So you think you can Vamp, where a human dance pro was partnered with a Celebrity Vampire Dancer.

But now she was bored with SYTYCV and wanted to move on to bigger pastures, like: Dancing with Some Dead Stars.

BeyounceThis year’s season was sort of boring. Beryl Cerk grinding against Sexy Bill with her Lap Dances. The first Lesbian couple Putrid Android with Donna Drivel. And Herek Duff having the NERVE to have Marlene Moonos imitate a VAMPIRE! Sherry knew that would piss certain kinfolk off.

Sherry decided to “Glamour” herself onto the show so she could dance with super sexy Valentino Charming. She could not stand his brother, Mad Prince Charming, but had Baby Boy on her mind 24/7.

But how to get rid of his current partner? Hmmm, not the first time that Sherry had Glamoured onto a TV or Movie star. It always helped to have a similar name or look. Also, have a “temporary” coffin ready to “Glamour the “victim” into sleeping 4-12 weeks until the end of the show’s season.

Sherry Glamoured into Jheri. The Ladies stared each other down. “Who in the hell are you?” Jheri demanded as she faced her mirror image. “I am borrowing you for just a few weeks, so sleep my pretty!” With those words, the Glamour took effect and Jheri fell fast asleep. Sherry moved her into the coffin and Glamoured the coffin to be invisible.

Valentino knocked on Jheri’s dressing room door and said it’s time to rehearse now. Sherry, as Jheri, said, “I’ll be right there.”Lady Gaga

They rehearsed the Foxtrot, their 1st dance of the Season. They got a score of 23 during the Live show, which really insulted Sherry. She thought they could do much better. So she planned to Glamour the judges, KarAnna, Blen and Runo. Gia predicted they would get a 23 and 24 in the following weeks, so Sherry made sure to Glamour the Judges into giving her 10-10-10 instead.

Sherry and Valentino were at the Top of the Leaders Board. They seemed poise to make it to the Semi Finals. Sherry forgot about Jheri and the limits of the Glamour Potion. Jheri woke up and told the judges about her doppelganger.

The Judges told the security guards to remove Sherry from the premises. On the 4th week with the real Jheri Sheep dancing, the judges gave them 21 which eliminated Jheri & Valentino from the competition.

Jheri was devastated! She really, really wanted to keep dancing. She became curious about how Sherry was able to convince the judges to give her perfect 10s.

JustinThe Show Hosts Bom Tergeron and Rook Rurke urged Jheri not to find Sherry. They had used Glamour to get hired to do the show. In fact, former hostesses Hanta Sarris and Calise Kanner were still locked up as vampires in Rook’s dressing room.

Caroline Braden’s ancestors were originally from England. She was a distant relative of Ligel Nitchgow from SYTYCV. Caroline had warned Ligel to never, ever hold a SYTYCV audition in St. Louis. But Ligel did not believe in superstitions.

So when they filmed the auditions for Season 1 in 2005 in St. Louis, Murph Mare screamed, “Meet us for auditions in St. Louis for SYTYCV!”

SYTYCDhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beyonc%C3%A9
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alicia_keys
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhianna
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lady_gaga
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Justin_Bieber
For more Dance Gossip & Goodies, check out my book, “Learn to Belly Dance Textbook” available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble :
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/learn-to-belly-dance-textbook-certification-program-shalimar-ali/1105014103?ean=9781465346582&itm=1&usri=9781465346582DWTS

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Don’t miss Part 5 (Dances of the 1940s) coming soon.

What was your favorite song, singer, dance or dancer from the 2000s?