The Vampire Dancer Saga: Part 1 – Dancing makes you Buff! 6/22/12

VampireDancer1A fictional tale of dances from the 1900s-2010s

Part 1: Dancing makes you Buff! the 1900s

“Places everyone. Quiet please,” shouted host Bom Tergeron. With that, the judges, KarAnna, Blen & Runo from DWSDS and Ligel Nitchgow & Murph Mare from SYTYCV with special guest judge Triple T Debs took their places at the Judges Table.

Bom said it is time to explain the rules for this very special year 3000 Vampire Olympics that happens every 10 years. This year’s competition included the following categories:

Part 1: Supernatural Protection Skills

  1. Vampire Defense (fending off against wooden stakes, silver, garlic, decapitation)VoodooDancer
  2. Best Power (Witchcraft, Spell, Potion, Premonition or Voodoo Skills)
  3. Strongest Shifter (Mummy, Zombie, Wolf, Ram or Hart)

The 4 teams that make it past Part 1 of the competition will move to Semi-Finals

Part 2: World Transformation

Change the World Events from what originally happened

The remaining 3 teams will compete for the winner of the 3000 Vampire Olympics

StLouis1900cPart 3: World Transformation

  1. Change the World back to the way events really happened

The Winners will receive:

  1. First Place A Black tricked-out Coffin that has special lights for Vampires, built-in TV, DVD, PC, Internet, Mini Kitchen filled with blood vials, Toilet & Shower; they will also receive a Black Voodoo Doll Head with Special PowersCoffin7
  2. 2nd Place A Purple mini version of a Rhinestone Coffin, this one only has a built-in TV
  3. 3rd Place A Wooden mini-coffin filled with blood vials, including AB, A, B and O.

The winners from 2090, the Collins (LaBelle, Jack, Ed, Lisa and Barnaby), were on hand to pick the Location and Year for this year’s competition.

LaBelle took the mic and announced that the Year will be 1900 and the Location will be St. Louis, MO. Each team had 1 hour for each competition (Vampire Defense, Best Power and Shifting), with 10 TrekCaptainsminutes to prepare for each challenge.

First each team has a 10 minute limit to use their Best Power to shift them into the time and place for the event. Once they arrive, they must “Glamour” the location so that no ordinary citizens can view the guests from the future.

After all judges and audience members have teleported there to view, then each team can start the first competition – Vampire Defense.

The Judges will eliminate 1 of the 7 teams during the 10 minute intermission using a combination of their scores and the audience votesMarilyn3
The remaining 6 teams will now compete in the Best Power competition.
The Judges will eliminate 1 of 6 teams during the last 10 minute intermission.
The remaining 5 teams will now compete in the Strongest Shifter competition.
The Judges will eliminate 1 of 5 teams after the Shifter competition.
The remaining 5 teams will go to the Semi-Finals.

TwilightTo ensure that there would absolutely be no CHEATING, a special enforcement team of Super Witches will oversee all Glamour, potions, spells, voodoo and seeing past and future events. Just, then very charming ladies took the stage. LaBelle said, “May I present our Special Witch Police for the Vampire Olympics: Meddling Granny, Prunes, Pippa, Feeble and Pageant! Don’t these ladies look charming?”

The crowded went wild with excitement, especially since Meddling Granny and Prunes had not died in the Alternate Universe.

Bom said, “Let the 3000 Vampire Olympics competition begin!”Charmed

The 7 Teams passed the Torch from team to team and then Bom lit the cauldron with the torch flame.

Bom said, ‘I am proud to present this year’s competitors. Please give a warm welcome to the following teams.”

Each team came out 1 by 1 and was applauded loudly by the crowd:

  • Mutant Weirdoes (SunniHell, CA)
    Buff Dude (Vampire vanquisher)
    Angela (Vampire)
    Zanadu (Glamour dancer)
    Will Potter (Male witch from London)
    Wiz (Werewolf)Buffy1
  • Diary of the Mad Vamps (Thinspace 5, VA)
    B’Lanna (Glamour dancer)
    Demon (Googly eyed Zombie)
    Satan (Wimp Vamp)
    CatTwin (B’Lanna from the Alternate Universe, also a dancer)
    Batty (Witchcraft)
  • Turd Blue (Temptations, LA)
    Snookie (Bitch Witch from New Jersey)
    Pelvis (Elvis from the Alternate Universe, Pelvic dancer)
    Jake Brickhouse (Womanizer)
    RuPaul Fayette (A vampire that can shift to man, woman or mixture of both)
    Sara Thor (Voodoo Dancer)
  • Le Monsters (New Orleans, LA)TrueBlood2
    Grandpa Jacob (Vampire)
    Edward (Werewolf)
    Hermes (Frankenstein)
    Lila (Bride of Frankenstein and Witch)
    Marla (Marilyn Monroe from the Alternate Universe, Glamour Dancer)
  • Spare Tracks (Railroad Captains from the Future)
    Cisco Ten (Emits prophets of past or future events)
    Picky John (Borg, Can seduce any woman or man)
    Bill Fatner (Can smash vampires by sitting on them)
    Copy Hipburns (Glamour Dancer)
    Archie Dracula (Leaps while Ruining Cult Favorites)VampireDiary1
  • Butchers & Bakers (Jackson, MS)
    Big Daddy (Butcher)
    Granny Smith (Witch)
    Aunt Ethel (Country Cooking & Potions)
    Dolf Jr. (Werewolf)
    Sherry (Glamour Dancer & can Freeze Time)
  • The Braden Hunchbacks (Notre Dame, IN)
    Mitchell Braden (Wife Beater)
    Caroline Braden (Witch)
    Jane Braden (Can Freeze Time)
    Cynthia Braden (Can see past & future events)
    Alyce Braden (Glamour Dancer & can Move Items)

Then Meddling Granny announced that it was time for each team to use their Super powers to take their team back iBrideFrankensteinn time to St. Louis, MO in 1900.

Team Butchers & Bakers were the first team to arrive in St. Louis. They had an advantage since Big Daddy had family there in town. So they were quite familiar with the town and townsfolk. Granny Smith laughed as she saw the ladies of that time wearing those God-awful heavy dresses. She remembered wearing those dresses how hot they were during the summer. Big Daddy and Granny visited their relatives, who taught them a quick dance. The dance will come in handy during the competition because it was from the 1900s.

The Glamour Dancers and Voodoo Dancers from the other teams were planning to use dances from the 1900s as well to impress the judges. They studied from Loie Fuller and other dancer greats who taught them Ballroom and Tango dances.

TangoEach team can get 2 extra points for great dancing skills shown during each 3 parts of the competition. So dance was very important if you wanted to win.

The first team, Le Monsters, took the stage to show off their Vampire Defense Skills. This team had been around the longest but their killings skills were campy, old school and stale. Then it was time for the Mutant Weirdoes. This team had actually set the pace for any other Genre Team that followed. The Collins, Charming Special Witch Police and Diary of the Mad Vamps had all copied and imitated their style to become cult favorites.

The Mutant Weirdoes had a special skill of “Trash Talking” and using a certain slang and cracking jokes whilst vanquishing the vampires. They easily won the Buffy ParkVampire Defense Competition.

The worst team in Vampire Defense was The Braden Hunchbacks. There was too much bickering during the Vampire Defense, with Jane shouting, “Marsha, Marsha, Marsha” while she froze time. Then they had the nerve to try to vanquish a vamp while posing on a staircase. That move was so out of style from 1969. They were loudly booed as they were eliminated and thrown out.

Next came the Best Power Competition. The Turd Blue team Elvis2showed a fantastic tree offering and transformation into a Dionysus-worshipping Maenad. The crowd went wild and the ratings soared for their sponsor GoHoBos. The ladies in the audience swooned when Pelvis sang the song “Bad Things” and transformed it to a chant for Snookie, “I want to do real bad things to you.” The ladies just loved hearing him say, “Snookie” in that sexy, Deep South twang.

TrueBlood3

The Spare Tracks team did awful in the Best Power category. They tried to transform an audience member into a Borg by chanting, “Resistance is Futile.” But the audience member was listening to music from their IPod so the transformation did not work.. So the Spare Track team members begin turning on each other and shouting insults like, “Bill why didn’t you sit on that vamp and smash him. Archie why didn’t you leap into that into audience member and pretend to be a Borg? Way to go Archie, you have lost all of our cult followers now!” The crowd booed “Beam them up Snotty” as the team teleported away from the competition.Janeway

The final category was Best Shape Shifter. The Diary of the Mad Vamps team easily won this category. They shifted into their versions of doubles from the Alternate Universe. But not only that, they conjured the St. Louis Arch fromborg the year 1967, since the competition was held in the same location, but it hadn’t been built yet. To top that off, they showed the judges a time relapse movie of the Arch as it was being planned from a model from 1947 to 1963. Then they showed a mirror image of the 1967 Arch next to the 2067 Arch. The judges gave them extra points since the Arch from 2067 was copper, not green. The crowd went wild when they saw the Arch. The Diary of the Mad Vamps easily won the Best Shape Shifter category.

The ending order of the Teams for the 3 categories were:

  1. Diary of the Mad Vamps, 1st placeArch
  2. Turd Blue, 2nd place
  3. Mutant Weirdoes, 3rd place
  4. Butchers & Bakers, 4th place
  5. Spare Tracks, 5th place
  6. Braden Hunchbacks, 6th place
  7. Le Monsters, 7th place

The remaining 4 teams were very proud that they will be moving on the Semi-Finals of the Vampire Olympics.

Angela from the Mutant Weirdoes Team shouted, “Let’s get Ready to Rumble for our next Vampire Olympic Showdown in St. Louis!”

Oz Park

Brady Vampires

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tango_dance
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BurlesqueBallroom
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loie_Fuller
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silent_film
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_monroe
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elvis_Pressley
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hunchback_of_Notre_Dame
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dracula
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frankenstein

The Vampire Dancer Saga is coming soon to Amazon and Barnes and Noble (ISBN 9781477142172, July 2012)

Learn to Belly Dance Textbook & Certification Program available now at:
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Don’t miss Part 2 (Dances of the 1910s) coming soon.

What is your favorite memory, visit or image of St. Louis, MO?

Should Cheryl Burke take a break from DWTS? 5/23/12

Cheryl1Dancer Tribute 5/23/12: Cheryl Burke (San Francisco, CA)

What a great Finale on Dancing with the Stars last night!  I am so glad that DONALD DRIVER & PETA won!  I have been rooting for them since my blog on 3/20/12.

By comparison, last year I sort of rooted for Cheryl & Rob Kardashian.  This year I hoped & prayed that WILLIAM LEVY & CHERYL BURKE would NOT Win!!!

 

 

Cheryl2Why?

  • Too much over-scoring of basic dances done by William by the judges.
  • Too much William “PIMPING”
  • Too many lap dances, shirtless dancing and dancing around William
  • Not enough dance talent by William, even though the beefcake was nice
  • The Judge Pandering to ABC due to the Latin American TV deal made the over-scoring worse and the judges comments look fake
  • The judges lost their CREDIBILITY this season by obviously over-scoring William & Cheryl (The Royal Couple) while under-scoring Donald & Peta
  • I love all things DWTS and my favorite articles are by Pure Dancing with the Stars, especially when written by John and Courtney.

Cheryl3I noticed a lot of posts by this group and also message boards and forums that the JUDGES NEED TO BE REPLACED and that CHERYL BURKE needs to take a break for a season.

The worst thing about Cheryl’s choreography this season was that is was PREDICTABLE!  Even Donald Driver and Len Goodman mentioned this.  Also Katherine Jenkins remarks, “We’re not about taking off clothes.  It’s about the dancing for us.”

Being PREDICTABLE equals being BORING & STALE!  And being Boring is the worst thing any performer can do.  Why not bother watching a performer, if they are going to do the same thing again and again and again.

Cheryl4William & Cheryl’s dances this season were all about Cha Cha, Samba, ass-shaking, bump & grinds.  Which was cool the first time, but then the 3rd, 4th, 5th & 6th time, I would just glance over it, yawn, and count the minutes until the next commercial break.  I’m sorry, but William’s good looks can only go so far when it comes to dancing.  Non-dancers noticed the lack of skill and easy, safe, predictable routines.  As a dancer, it really stood out, because I’m not so simple to just watch him and say he deserves 10s based on looks alone.

Sure, sometimes we do like to hear/see our favorite performers do their hit song again and again.  I never get tired of Michael Jackson performing Smooth Criminal.  And what about watching Elizabeth Taylor’s entrance scene in Cleopatra?  What about Rita Moreno performing “A Boy Like That” in West Side Story?  I just love the side reference that she went to see a production of West Side Story on her new show Happily Divorced, and also so glad that the producers gave her a chance to Cheryl5sing in one of the episodes.

Anyhoo.  Sometimes I root for Cheryl in some seasons and sometimes I feel sorry for Cheryl when she gets saddled with “horrible” dancers like Wayne Newton and Tom DeLay.  That was so painful to watch.  Cheryl really got cheated in Season 11 when she & Rick Fox got the boot, and Bristol Palin had the NERVE to be in the Finals.  Another example of the judges being FAKE and over-scoring a non-talented performers to please the producers.

I’m so glad that actual DANCE TALENT prevailed this season.  The producers did great by letting the true Cheryl6dancers win – Donald & Peta.  I would have been so pissed off if William Levy won a dance content, based on looks and over-scoring. ‘

By the way, no way that MARIA & DEREK should have in 4th place.  In a real world, with no over-scoring and pimping the line up should have been:

  1. Donald and Peta, winner
  2. Maria & Derek, 1st runner up (or WINNER)
  3. Roshon & Chelsie, 2nd runner up
  4. Katherine & Mark, 3rd runner up

I don’t think that Cheryl & William even deserved 3rd place.  They should not have made it that far do to Judges over-scoring and pimping of the Royal Couple.  And truth be told, William should have left before Jaleel, if you are looking at dance talent alone.  MARIA & DEREK WERE ROBBED THIS SEASON!!!Cheryl7

Who do you think should have won this season & why?

All personal grudges aside from this season, I truly feel that CHERYL is the QUEEN dancer on Dancing with the Stars and LOUIS VAN AMSTEL is the KING or Alpha male dancer on Dancing with the Stars.  Sorry Maks.

Watch the costumes that are worn by Cheryl & Louis and the respect that the other dancers show them.  Also Cheryl has the best of the best of the best COSTUMES on DWTS!  She has the most beads, the most fringe and her costumes are the most ORNATE. Even her shoes seems to be more bedazzled.  Louis seems to do more group choreographies of all of the other dancers on the show.  And usually when it is the pros doing a choreography, he and Cheryl are paired together.

And when you are the QUEEN BEE, the last thing on your mind is taking a break.  But if you have a season of PREDICTABLE, BORING & STALE dances, then maybe you should consider some time off.

 

 

 

Cheryl8http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheryl_Burke
http://www.strictlycheryl.com/
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2150519/
http://www.accesshollywood.com/cheryl-burke-reveals-pain-over-weight-gain-criticism-and-affair-rumors-on-dancing_article_44099
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Should Cheryl Burke take a break from DWTS?

Dance Step Tribute 3/2/12: The Twist (circa 1960), What is your favorite dance memory of The Twist?

Twist1Dance Step Tribute 3/2/12: The Twist (circa 1960)

Where were you in 1960?  I know, I know, most of you were not born yet.

I’m not claiming to be as old as Methuselah, but hey I was there back in the early 1960s.

I watched my Mom & Dad dance back then, because back then they were young and cool.  So the kids tried to be like them and imitate stuff they did.  Some imitated stuff was good, some not so good.  I envied the grown ups drinking coffee during the day and my Dad drinking beer with my uncles later that night in our garage.  I used to steal sneaks of coffee as well as beer.  Maybe that explains why I still drink coffee and beer today, LOL.  Our garage had the first MAN CAVE I ever seen.  We lived on 34th & Flora and the garage had the popcorn ceiling with the gold glitter.  Popcorn ceilings are tacky now, but back then I loved the glitter and of course later on being a Belly Dancer, anything with Bling, Shimmer & Shine!  I still have dreams about being in that garage and watching my Dad drink Miller Beer with Uncle Nathaniel, Jackie, and the rest of the gang.Twist2

My family danced!  Mom & dad, my aunts and uncles.  So when they did the newest dances like the Twist, the Funky Chicken the Jerk, whatever, the kids imitated them.  My Aunts Forestine and Ernestine were younger than Mom & Dad, so they brought the newest steps to the family and after the kids learned the “new” dances, we tried to get attention by performing them.  So the first dance that I remember performing for attention was the TWIST.  Boy, if only the “cool” uncle that had the only video camera could have filmed us back then.  You know that all 8 mm and that to be developed and used for only very special occasions, not something as common as the kids trying to dance.

It was so cool when Mom & Dad would call upon you to dance.  Not my brothers & sisters, but me –  ha, ha.  Sometimes they called another kids to dance and brag about said kid and ask the whole family to watch, so when you got your turn to dance the newest dance, you better do your best or next time, they might not ask you.  Hmmm, no wonder I wanted to go to dance school and then later on became a belly dancer.

Twist3I loved watching Len Goodman dance the Twist on Dancing with the Stars.  It was a treat to see Chubby Checker performing after 50 years.  Damn, has it been that long?  Rock on Len Goodman!  Rock on Chubby Checkers!  Rock on The TWIST!!!

 

 

The Twist was a dance inspired by rock and roll music. It became the first worldwide dance craze in the early 1960s, enjoying immense popularity among young people and drawing fire from critics who felt it was too provocative. It inspired dances such as the Jerk, the Pony, the Watusi, the Mashed Potato, the Monkey and the Funky Chicken, although none were as popular. The dance was inspired by “The Twist,” Chubby Checker‘s 1960 cover of the B-side of Hank Ballard & The Midnighters‘ 1959 single, “Teardrops on Your Letter”. From Wikipedia: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twist_(dance)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twist_(dance)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Twist_(song)

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Twist4

Twist5

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What is your favorite dance memory of The Twist?

Dancer Tribute 2/25/12: Carrie Ann Inaba (Honolulu, HI). What is your favorite dance scene or judging comment by Carrie Ann Inaba?

Carrie1WHERE WERE YOU IN 1990?

I was probably plunked down on my sofa in front of the TV waiting to watch one of my all-time favorite shows, In Living Color.

I already LOVED some favorites on the show like Keenan Ivory Wayans, Damon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Marlon Wayans, and Kim Wayans.  But who know that the people in that show who were “unknown” sort of back then, would become so POPULAR TODAY?  Like:

 

  • Jim Carrey
  • Jennifer Lopez
  • Jamie Foxx
  • David Allen Grier
  • Carrie Ann Inaba

Hey Carrie Ann, you were jamming those dance moves back in the 1990s.  You need to teach us some of smooth moves, LOL.

Carrie4All kidding aside.  I like watching Carrie Ann as a judge on Dancing with the Stars.  I know that sometimes she can be mean, bitchy, snarky or even seem FAKE, LOL.  But what I love most about her is 2 things:

  1. 1.  She always has the other judges backs.  She took up for Len when Maks was disrespectful and made a comment to Maks to show respect.  I respect her for demanding respect.
  2. 2.  She gives encouragement to the dancers who are really trying to put forth the effort, even if their dance ability does not show it yet.  At home, we might be wishing that celebrity will be the first to go.  And I love it when Carrie Ann is the last judge to give a comment.  Especially when Bruno and Len have been brutal. She seems to take the dancer’s fragile ego in mind and cut them a bit of slack by giving them some hope, rather than tearing them to shreds.  Not to say Carrie Ann, won’t get real and tell ‘em how bad they are in a minute.

Carrie3But those who are really trying, I can’t imagine how horrible they must feel inside.  They are worried about remembering the choreography, costume mishaps, falling, dancing in front of millions of people.

I love it when Carrie Ann shows kindness and sympathy because sometimes as a dancer you need that encouragement and hope, 100 times more than hearing what you did wrong.  She puts a POSITIVE spin on her critiques by saying what they did RIGHT!  Right on Carrie Ann.

TRIVIA QUESTION:  Who played one of the twins, fook me fook yu, in the movie, Austin Powers. The Spy Who Shagged Me?

 

I loved DANCE WARS!  I wish ABC hadn’t cancelled it:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrie_Ann_Inaba
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_Living_Color
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Carrie5

Carrie2

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Dancer Tribute 1/6/12: Mark Ballas (Houston, TX)

Mark ShawnDancer Tribute 1/6/12: Mark Ballas (Houston, TX).  I have Mark Ballas on my mind today.  I was just watching him on HGTV Hollywood at Home and today I was reading my daily DWTS blog and ran across his name.  One of my all-time favorite dances on Dancing with the Stars was Mark & Chelsea Kane performing the Viennese Waltz on Season 12 Week 4 April 11, 2011, to ,music from Harry Potter "Hedwig’s Theme" by John Williams.  I did not realize that Mark was nominated for an Emmy Award for that choreography.  It was a great dance, lots of fun, I loved the way Mark captured the spirit of the movie in the dance.  I was shocked that Len Goodman did not like it.  He only gave them an 8, and they got a 9 each from Carrie and Bruno.  I think he should have gotten 10-10-10.  I wonder if Len ever thought that choreography would be nominated for an Emmy when he was complaining about it?  I love it when Mark’s parents are on DWTS.  I love, love, loved Corky Ballas, especially when he was paired with Cloris Leachman and Florence Henderson.  Cloris was so funny on DWTS, she was not the best dancer, but she was certainly the best entertainer.  I wish she had made to the finals, I would have tuned in each week just to watch.  And it was good to see the sensuous side of Florence Henderson after playing goody-2-shoes mom Carol Brady all those years.  I thought that Florence and Corky did a great job on their Rhumba to “Yesterday” even though it shocked some people to see the sexy side of Carol Brady.  Corky has trained many of Dancing with the Stars professionals including Karina Smirnoff, Julianne Hough, Derek Hough, Tony Dovolani, Edyta Sliwinska, Alec Mazo, Brian Fortuna, Jonathan Roberts, Anna Trebunskaya, Jessie DeSoto and, his son, Mark Ballas.   I also loved it when Shirley Ballas appeared on Dancing with the Stars 2011 week 7 to mentor Romeo & Chelsie on the Samba.  Whoops, I got off track about Mark.  Any who, I love his dancing and love to see him play guitar almost just as much.  Mark is a very talented young man from a very talented family!

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Ballas
http://www.markballas.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corky_Ballas
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shirley_Ballas

For more dance gossip & goodies, check out my book, "Learn to Belly Dance Textbook" available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble : 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B005SFPN6I/ref=s9_simh_gw_p351_d0_g351_i1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=121QKD526S21XAKBP0T2&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470938631&pf_rd_i=507846

Mark Sabrina

Mark Chelsea