Casting Call: Which actors would you cast to play DWTS (Tom Bergeron, Brooke Burke), SYTYCD (Nigel Lythgoe, Mary Murphy or Cat Deeley), or Buffy characters in the Movie Version of The Vampire Dancer Saga?

The Vampire Dancer SagaI’m working on having a script written for my newly published book, The Vampire Dancer Saga.  Who do you think will be great to cast in the spoofs of Dancing with the Stars, So You Think You Can Dance and Buffy the Vampire Slayer BTVS cast members?

Let’s see if you agree with my cast suggestions:

This casting is super EASY!  Let’s put most of the actors from the cancelled The Secret Circle back to work:

Mutant Weirdoes (SunniHell, CA)
Buff Dude (Vampire vanquisher)Chris Zylka
Angela (Vampire)
Zanadu (Glamour dancer)
Will Potter (Male witch from London)
Wiz (Werewolf)

Phoebe TonkinYou may have noticed that Buffy is now a Buff DUDE (she’s a man, baby) and Angel is now a GIRL (Angela).  Also Xander and Willow have switched genders as well.  With that in mind, here are my choices:

  • Buff Dude is now Chris Zylka (who played Jake Armstrong on The Secret Circle)
  • Angela is now Phoebe Tonkin (who played Faye Chamberlain on The Secret Circle)
  • Zanadu is now Shelley Hennig (who played Diana Meade on The Secret Circle)
    Will Potter is now Thomas Dekker (who played Adam Conant on The Secret Circle), hope you don’t mind a bit of red hair dye to look more like Willow, LOL
  • Wiz is now Gray Damon (who played Lee LaBeque on The Secret Circle)

Shelley HennigNext, let’s take a look at the “So You Think You Can Vamp” cast:

“Places everyone. Quiet please,” shouted host Bom Tergeron. With that, the judges, KarAnna, Blen & Runo from DWSDS and Ligel Nitchgow & Murph Mare from SYTYCV with special guest judge Triple T Debs took their places at the Judges Table.

  • For Mare Thomas DekkerMurph, I would recommend an actress who can dance such as Summer Glau.  We’ve seen her dance in episodes of Firefly, Angel and Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.  She is a bit young to be Mare, but I bet she can shout HOT TAMALE TRAIN just like Mary!
  • For Ligel Nitchgow, I would recommend Anthony Steward Head from Buffy The Vampire Slayer.  Anthony is only 5 years younger than the “real” Nigel, so that would be perfect.  What is he up to these days anyway?
  • For Bom Tergeron, I would recommend Sean Maher from Firefly, Warehouse 13 and The Playboy Club.  He is 20 years younger than the “real” Tom but with a bit of gray hairs (ala George Clooney), he will look very handsome.Gray Damon

Kat Dealy replaced Rook Rurke as the co-host alongside Bom Tergeron for the 3000 Vampire Olympics Finals.  “Welcome Hepcats to our 3000 Vampire Olympic Finals. Let’s give a big hand to our JEEJEDGES,” announced Kat as the Special Guest judges took their seat. Bom cracked and said, “No one can understand your cockney British accent Kat, why don’t you just say: Judges?”

  • ForSummer Glau Kat Dealy, I would recommend Kaley Cuoco from Charmed and The Big Bang Theory.
  • For Rook Rurke, I would recommend Morena Baccarin from Firefly, V and Serenity,

Wow!  I just can’t get Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Firefly out of my head.  I love ANYTHING by the master producer JOSS WHEDON!!! Head Maher


Kaley CuocoMorena_Baccarin

What do you think of these casting suggestions?

Who would you cast in the screenplay of THE VAMPIRE DANCER SAGA?

The Vampire Dancer Saga back cover

The Vampire Dancer Saga: Part 5: Dance Showdown in St. Louis, 6/25/12

VampireDancer1A fictional tale of dances from the 1900s-2010s

Part 5: Dance Showdown in St. Louis, the 1940s

Kat Dealy replaced Rook Rurke as the co-host alongside Bom Terguson for the 3000 Vampire Olympics Finals.

“Welcome Hepcats to our 3000 Vampire Olympic Finals. Let’s give a big hand to our JEEJEDGES,” announced Kat as the Special Guest judges took their seat. Bom cracked and said, “No one can understand your cockney British accent Kat, why don’t you just say: Judges?”

The audience laughed and Kat turned red.

Kat continued, “As you know tonight’s very special competition will be to see which team can Change theHepcat World Back to the way events really happened. After our exciting Semi Final round where each team Changed the World Events from what originally happened. Without further adieu, let’s welcome back our Finalists!

Team Diary of the Mad Vamps, who showed us how killing Adolph Hitler would change the world.

Team Turd Blue who prevented slavery from happening in America.

And last but not least Team Butchers & Bakers who showed prevented the Titantic from sinking.

Let’s give them a big round of applause,” said Kat. Then she continued, “Let’s not forgot about the teams who did not make it to the Finals:

Pearl Harbor2Teams Mutant Weirdoes, Spare Tracks, Braden Hunchbacks and Le Monsters! All of the teams are in the audience giving their full support to the remaining competitors. Let’s give them a big round of applause as well.”

Little did anyone know, Team Braden Hunchbacks was not in a supportive frame of mind at all. In fact, they felt they were cheated and should have been in the finals. So they hatched a plan to sabotage the Final competition. The secret plan was to distract the charming Special Police Witches while they were changing back the effects of stopping World War I. But their devious plan was to instead of stopping it, they were going to bring the war to the competition and combine it with the attack on Pearl Harbor and World War II. With WWI, WWII and the Pearl Harbor attacks combined, the Bradens could easily wipe out all of the Olympic Finalists so they could still have a chance of winning.

The Charming Witch Police and Collins were super busy that night. Not only did they have to reverse TeamDancers Mutants Weirdoes stopping World War I, but they also had to “glamour” in all of the special celebrity guests for the competition.  Also the theme for the 3000 Vampire Olympics was Jive Dancing in the 1940s.  So they also had to teleport the audience, guest and their costumes (like the Zoot Suit) back to the 1940s.

They were nearly exhausted just teleporting in the special guest performers like Leana Horn, Die-Anna Boss, ZooEee Dresser, Gudy Jarland, MiLiza Linnelli, Pritchard Prior, Jichael Mackson, Ripsy Nussell, Glees-Rachel Mama, Chuichi Nagumo, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Franken-Bum and the Great Gizzard of Woz. The hardest special guest to teleport in was Kab Kalloway, as he and his band would be replacing Mr. Dancers2Wheel’s band for the Finals. Kab and the special guest performers were going to compete in a Gizzard of Woz Mini Contest. This contest will determine the best version of Woz, as each Team had 10 minutes to present songs, dances and scenes from their version.

The first team to compete in the Woz Mini Contest was Team Gudy Jarland. She and her daughter and the original cast got a rousing 10 minute standing ovation after their performance. Gudy had a secret weapon in the competition that gave her an edge. Her maid and cook, Viva Kelly was from St. Louis and had taught her team members a spirited version of the Jitterbug dance. Although this dance was cut from their 10 minute contest, Viva showed off a few steps at near the end. Gudy had to beg Viva to come tonight. Viva on the verge of getting a marriage proposal from her beau Jac’ichi. Jac’ichi was stuck in Japan on the Japanese Imperial Naval boat, awaiting shore leave orders to he could Lena3propose to his sweetie Viva.

Team Die-Anna Boss did a modern version of the Gizzard of Woz. The audience loved seeing Jichael Mackson again. This team did a great job by adding the both the West Coast and East Coast Swing and Jive.

Then Team ZooEee Dresser did cool 3 part presentation that featured the tin man as the prominent dancer for the Merengue number.

The audience was not too thrilled with the “Broadway” version Gizzard of Woz featuring Glees-Rachel Mama. WickedBut their version of the Lindy Hop Boogie-Woogie-style, was absolutely wicked.

The judges enjoyed a Salute to the 1940s by Kab Kalloway and his band with guest singers Leana Horne, Gudy Jarland and dances by the Nickles Brothers while they calculated the scores for the Mini-Contest.

Kat took the stage again and announced, The Mini Contest winner will be announced later in the show. But now it is time for our Vampire Olympic Team Finalists to show us how they have changed the world back. Let’s give it up for Teams Diary of the Mad Vamps, Team Turd Blue and Judy1Team Butchers & Bakers!”

The 3 teams were matched evenly with scores of 29 each. Just as the judges were about to announce the 3rd place winner, Team Bradens of Hunchbacks grabbed the mic from Kat! Jane shouted “We should have won fair and square, now let’s show you how real magic is done!”

The audience gasped as they began seeing soldiers from WWI and WWII enter the room. The Japanese Imperial Naval boat soldiers began firing at the American WWI and WWII soldiers until Chuichi Nagumo ordered them to STAND DOWN! After they quit firing, then Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered the American soldiers to stand down as well.

Just then the charming Special Police Witches and the Collins captured Team Braden Hunchbacks. As a special punishment, they shrank the Bradens using voodoo dolls and then jailed them in a special enchanted Dollhouse. RubySlippers1Eckels said, “I’ll take it from here” as she shrank herself and teleported into the Dollhouse.

Bom said it was time to announce the winner of the 3000 Vampire Olympics. “In 3rd place we have the Butchers & Bakers!

And in 2nd place we have, hold on just a second audience. For the first time in history, we have a TIE for first place. The winners are Teams Diary of the Mad Vamps and Team Turd Blue!”

Kat said, “Well isn’t that special? I wonder if that has something to do with the networks renewing both shows for the upcoming season?

And now it is time to announce the winner or our Mini Gizzard of Woz contest. The winner is: Team Gudy Jarland!

In honor of your special win, you may pick one special spell, potion, teleportation or glamour spell.”

Viva made a wish just then, “There’s no place like home.” Gudy granted that wish and more. She also arranged for Viva’s beau, Jac’ichi, to be released from the Japanese Concentration Camp and teleported him right into Viva’s arms. Viva and Jac’ichi planned to wed in her hometown.

Viva told him, “I can’t wait to meet you in St. Louis!”
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What was your favorite dance, singer, movie or fashion from the 1940s?

The Vampire Dancer Saga: Part 2 – Dance can Change the World, 6/23/12

VampireDancer1A fictional tale of dances from the 1900s-2010s

Part 2 – Dance can Change the World, the 1910s

Bom Tergeron was looking very handsome, dapper and fine, as usual, as he prepared for the Vampire Olympic Semi Finals.

“Welcome to our 3000 Vampire Olympic Semi Finals,” shouted Bom as the audience and judges took their seats.

Let’s welcome back our 4 remaining teams:

  1. Diary of the Mad Vamps, at the top of the leaderboard with 30 points!
  2. Turd Blue, tied for 2nd place with 29 points
  3. Mutant Weirdoes, also tied for 2nd place with 29 points
  4. Butchers & Bakers, at the bottom of the leaderboard with 28 points

Tonight’s competition will be very exciting! Each team has 3 challenging tasks in order to move to the Finals:1910

  1. Use their best spell or potion to Glamour the team into St. Louis 1910, the day before the 10th year competition
  2. After they arrive in 1910 St. Louis, have their dancers perform an authentic dance from 1910, wearing the same costume fashions of that era. The Best Dance routine can earn an extra 2 points and give the Team 32 points total instead of 30. After the dance competition each team can change back into their 3000 year fashions.
  3. Then each team will use a combination of their best glamour dances, spells, potions and ability to see past & future events to change a Signification Event in World History.

Adolf HitlerWe have not forgotten about each team’s great ability to use Vampire Defense Skills. So while you are “visiting” that World Event, you might need to claw, scratch and kick your way out of any fights by using your best shape shifters and fighting skills. You will be provided with a special “duplicator” effect that can make it appear that you have thousands or millions of fighters in the event you end up in the middle of a large war or confrontation.

Let’s have each team come up and pick a World Event from the basket that Rook Rurke is holding.

Bom announced the World Events that each Team must change:

  1. Diary of the Mad Vamps Kill Adolf HitlerSlavery1
  2. Turd Blue Prevent Slavery from happening in America
  3. Mutant Weirdoes Stop World War I
  4. Butchers & Bakers Prevent the Titanic from Sinking

The audience gasped and booed. They shouted, “It is wrong to kill Hitler for a competition, even after what he did!”

Bom said, “Calm down and relax everyone. This is a temporary “kill” and Adolf Hitler will die as planned in 1945. The competition will only “glamour” the effects of the change in World Events. But caution Teams, if you don’t return the World as is in tomorrow’s Finals, the changes will become permanent!” Also Teams, be very careful as some of the World Changes will temporarily affect Team Members as the events are changed.

WW1The audience was still restless and shouted, “How can it be changed back, if you plan to eliminate one team?”

Bom reassured them that the Special Witch Police team of charming ladies in conjunction with the reigning champions, The Collins, will have more than enough power to reverse the effects made by the team that will be eliminated and not going to the Finals.”

The audience expressed a sigh of relief.

Before we get started on the competition, let’s welcome our special guest musical artist, Celine Dion. The crowd cheered loudly as Celine sang, “My Heart Will Go On” from the 1997 film Titantic.Titantic1

And the Butchers and Bakers Team could not be happier that Celine was singing the theme song from the movie Titanic. The judges and audience loved Celine’s performance. But there was one fat guy in the audience, who booed and shouted, “Showboating Canadian Hussy!”

Now let’s get started by having each Team glamour into 1910 and prepare to do an authentic dance of that era. Let’s give them 10 minutes to start as the audience and judges plan to glamour to meet them there.

The audience was really enjoying the dance part of the Olympic Competition.

The Diary of the Mad Vamps did a combination of Animal dances like the Gacho DanceKangaroo Hop, the Duck Waddle, The Turkey Trot and the Bunny Hug Dance.

Team Turd Blue did a sensual Gaucho Dance

Mutant Weirdoes played it safe by doing The Grizzly Bear Dance

But the Butchers & Bakers stole the show doing a Cakewalk Dance to Ragtime Music. They had actually glamoured Scott Joplin from the Alternate Universe and had him as their guest musician while they danced.

Bom announced the Team that will earn the 2 extra points for the Dance Competition. It was the Butchers &Cakewalk4 Bakers! Now Team Butchers and Bakers are tied for 1st place with Diary of the Mad Vamps with a combined score of 30 each.

First up in the Change World Event challenge was the Diary of the Mad Vamps. Batty did a spell to kill Adolf Hitler on April 29, 1945. They glamoured Anne Frank to show the audience how different her life would have been with this historical change. Anne Frank ended up being a successful screen writer who glamoured to different times and places to write scripts for Fran Dresher and many others.

Ragtime2Next up, the Team Turd Blue showed an emotional journey of how ending Slavery affected both Africa and the US. They gave presentations on how it affected the racial populations of each country. Also they had the audience turn to look at the Butchers & Bakers during the presentation. They pointed out how their look was temporarily changed to affect their hair, outfits and jewelry. Pelvis got the audience laughing as he joked how Big Daddy now looked like King Jaffe Joffe and Granny looked similar to Queen Aeoleon from the movie, Coming to America.

Then the Mutant Weirdoes demonstrated the affects of World War 1 never happening. They summoned Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria, his wife Sophie and their children to give a special presentation on how the War affected their family. The Team also showed an Alternate Version of the World where Ferdinand and Sophie lived past the year 1914. The crowd loved this special presentation.Celine

Team Butchers & Bakers were the last to present their Challenge of Saving the Titantic. They summoned all 1,514 survivors of the Titantic as the DTSDS band plays an encore of “My Heart Will Go On.” In addition to the 1,514 Titantic Survivors, they glamoured the entire ship onto the stage in its pre-wrecked condition. Then they summoned all actors from the 1997 movie as well as US President Thomas Woodrow Wilson. The crowd went wild and gave them a 10 minute standing ovation!

Bom is back to announce the team that will be eliminated before the Finals.

FranAll of our Teams did a great job and here are the results of the judges’ scores and audience votes.

Rook then says, “We have 2 couples in the Bottom 2 this evening. Please welcome Teams Turd Blue and The Diary of the Mad Vamps!”

Both Teams stand in the red light of Doom. Bom continues, on this day in the year 1910, the following team will leave the competition. The team with the lowest score and now leaving the Vampire Olympics is:

Long pause while the drums play a heartbeat.

Team Mutant Weirdoes!Anne

Bom and Rook ask the Team to come to the stage. Rook asks, “What will be your favorite memory of this competition?” Wiz speaks for the group and says his favorite part was turning into a werewolf and kicking ass during on the battlefield.” Bom said, “Let’s give them one last dance as they perform The Grizzly Bear.” The crowd cheers and claps.

But Snookie is rolling her eyes at the remaining competitor and taunts, “We are going to kick your sorry asses at the Vampire Olympic Final Showdown in St. Louis!”

For more Dance Gossip & Goodies, check out my book, “Learn to Belly Dance Textbook” available at and Barnes & Noble :

Now is your time to join the Conversation! Comments, questions, concerns, controversy, rebuttals, tributes, blog suggestions, guest bloggers, etc., are all welcome!

Don’t miss Part 5 (Dances of the 1940s) coming soon.

If you could go back and time and change an Event in World History, which event would you change and why?