LIES AND SCAPEGOATS: Mothers feeding their children, Part 2

LiesStill ranting about the lie, so some of this is repeat stuff about highways, food sources, kids not having food and actress boycotts. Sometimes a liar makes up bullshit that makes you say WTF?

Did you hear the one about: I don’t like highways? That one was so ridiculous because I have travelled more than anyone in the history of my family. By plane, trains, car or bus. I can get anywhere I want to be.

I can’t remember all of the locations from 1978 to 2001. But to name a few: Montreal Canada, New York, California (5 times, so lots of highways there), Georgia, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Louisiana, Washington, Texas, Illinois, Ohio, Nebraska, Wisconsin, Iowa, Arkansas, Kansas and many cities in Missouri such as Columbia, Sedalia and St Louis, maybe 30 times?

ALiarst my last show there, I found out my sister was ill. And it was torture to have to wait for the train to leave the next day. But the show must go on, until it needs a break.

It was time to enroll my grandson in school. I made sure he got to the bus stop every day. The same was true with my granddaughters, until I lost custody.

Then the roommate moved to the next state over. By then the kids had stopped going to school and later was booted from home school, since the roommate could not be bothered with checking their home work.

I got calls with lots of fighting, screaming and cursing at the children. She asked me to pick up the girls. So I made arrangements, but then she changed her mind.

Lies2It happened again. So I asked my brother and his wife to pick them up. She almost changed her mind, but let them go. By that time, they lost interest in learning. There was no paperwork to enroll them in a traditional school, so I paid for home schooling.

She moved to the South and since my state is to the right of her state, she literally had to drive past her daughters. If she had cared, she could have picked them up and took her kids with her. Then 6 or 8 months later, there was an argument between the roommate, me and the babies’ daddy.

So she lied and said they did have any food. Liars should come up with better lies, because my refrigerator and freezer were full of food. Also, since she was in the South, how would she know? Lies and scapegoats had a drastic impact on their future. But without legal custody, what can you do?

ScapegoatThe other family liar made the highway travel statement after they showed up unexpectedly on Thanksgiving. They thought we were being mean, but the reality was that the roommate did indeed only buy food for her kids and had no idea they were going to show up.

What motivates a person to lie and scapegoat? Guilt for abandoning their kids and being such a horrible parent that you try to blame someone else?

Or guilt because your mom loves to cook Thanksgiving meals, but you did not visit her because you thought her house was messy.

Anyone can have a messy house or infestation. Bad things happen to good people. Messes can be prevented. My brother told his nephews to stop smearing food on the game controllers. No one complained or said a word. If me or my sister made that request, we would not be taken seriously. In fact people get pissed off. Only men can make that request because the womenfolk are supposed to clean up after scapegoat2menfolk.

My grandfather was very neat, but because we were messy kids, he got a roach infestation. After he moved to a different house on 42nd street, I never saw any roaches.

My 2nd apartment had roaches and mice from the neighbors. Also fleas from the cat. I remember catching the bus with fleas on my clothes. I had to bomb to get rid of them and the bugs.

My first house had hella mice. I did not have a cat so I used rat poison. One day “Lance” took me to the scapegoat3grocery store and there was a big, dead mouse in the middle of the floor when I got home. I turned around and said I’m leaving. He was sweet enough to dispose of it for me. That made me sell the house to get away from the mice. That house also had ants, so I paid my brother to paint, to get rid of them. That house was clean when I moved there, but got infested so bad due a food source, that it forced me to move out.

My 2nd house did not have any pests, except for a lot of spiders.

My 3rd house had a fly infestation followed by a wasp infestation in my sunroom. This was the dance room, Antswhich made it impossible to teach there. Then after the granddaughters moved in, we saw a mouse. Mind you, after they moved out, I found a lot food in their room. They blamed a bed bug infestation on their friend. And finally, that house had at least 5 bats and an ant infestation. So actually, that house may have been messier than his mother’s house, but just in a different way. They may have thought it was cleaner because it did not have a lot of bugs and mice. When you add up files, wasps, bed bugs, ants, bats and a mouse, it made my house the nastiest one. But since they did not see it, they thought the house was clean.

BatsThe wasps followed me to my current house. They must have been in some boxes. For the first year, they were in the living room. Then they nested outside. Earlier this year, I had to pay $1,300 to get rid of raccoons in the attic. It sounded like they had a loud party with lots of heavy thumping. Since they don’t pay rent, they had to go.

There should be no shame in protecting your home against unwanted pests. But I know that people are sensitive about it. It is not a reflection of you, or confirms that you are good or bad. Shit happens. The raccoons chewed through the mesh wires on the roof. I’m not ashamed of that, nor should it make anyone think less of me. When the weather is cold, mice can come in. I should have got a cat at my 1st house, or a better trash can with a sturdy lid to slow down my infestation. I was too cheap to get a better trash can and ended up paying the ultimate price. Nature happens. There will Bats2always be a pest seeking food or shelter. A homeowner or renter should not be shunned if they are doing their best to get rid of them.

In a real world, family should stick together and support one another. My family was that way until my sister had a stroke. Then she was ghosted by the majority of the family. Even when we change on the outside, we remain that same person on the inside. Many stopped visiting her. They finally saw her again at the funeral. But where were you when she needed your love and support the most? Hell, she might have lived with more love and support. I never gave up hope that she could pull through. I keep “Gia’s” memory Bed bugsalive in the Vampire Dancer Saga.

Then my brother got cancer. So one person took that as a sign of weakness. He cussed out my brother and scapegoated him, when his kid burned a mattress. Was the cursing supposed to turn the attention away from the fire?

I had surgery 4 years ago and was disrespected. One person’s joke was in essence to die slowly. When you are facing death, despair and darkness, the last thing you need to be around is negativity, even if done out of ignorance. Get sick and expect to be disrespected and ghosted.

FleasThere is still some good and love in my family. But there are still some sheep following the ones who lie and scapegoat.

I have always been a social activist. Back in February 1995 I was offended by an episode of Chicago Hope. It was that National Geographic moment when you can publish black African women naked, like we were animals. So I mailed protest letter to the show producer David E. Kelley to complain about that episode. I was shocked when he wrote back with an apology. Back then, I knew a lot of apathetic blacks that did not recognize racism. Now they do, after Black Lives Matter in 2013. Anyhoo, being a social activist, I also complained about Monster’s Ball in 2001. When the Academy Awards gives a lead actress award to a white actress having sex with a black man, I might Fliesstop complaining a little bit. The ship has sailed because the first white actress to win was not having sex with a black man. But like slavery, a black woman has to sexually service a white man. A person was mad about the Halle Berry boycott, but if we talked about why? They would have known this was not a personal grudge, but rather speaking up about how Hollywood portrays a negative image of black women. I stand behind and respect the 3 actresses that demanded they change those scenes.

The bottom line is that the truth needs to be known about why I boycott certain actresses, why I don’t like providing a food source for pests, why we did not buy extra food for unexpected guests, why I don’t care about highways and why your kids had a freezer and food that they picked out. If you cared that much about Waspstheir food, would have sent the food stamp card 8 times, instead of just once.

And when I complain about the “roommate” everyone agrees. But the other liars get away with this because they are perfect strangers.

Did they get away with the lies and scapegoats? Well, if the goal was to separate our family, I guess they did. The people spreading the lies need to just stop it. Or come up with better lies. Or do more research before saying the lie. Maybe they did not know how much I had traveled? All this does is keep us as a family of strangers.

For the record, I still love to travel. I can apply for a job rotation that lasts 6 months in California, with my current job. I will miss my house and cat, but there is still time to apply for it.

There are some people in my family that I don’t get along with. And with my former best friend, it was because she did not accept me after my car accident.

So be it! I can accept that. But if you don’t like me because you believe some bullshit lie, on behalf of myself, Vance and Gina – Fuck you!


Check out the sample and get your copy here: The Vampire Dancer Saga Part 4 Audiobook

The Vampire Dancer Saga Parts 1, 2, 3 and 4 are all Audiobooks now available at and iTunes (click the word Audible or iTunes to open link to store).



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Learn to Belly Dance Textbook & Certification Program: Dance Lessons & Choreographies For Students, Troupes, Performers… by Shalimar Ali (Aug 17, 2011)

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The Vampire Dancer Saga Part 2 by Shalimar Ali (Dec 11, 2012)

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The Vampire Dancer Saga by Shalimar Ali, Shalimarali and N/A (Jul 25, 2012)

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The Vampire Dancer Saga Part 3 by Shalimar Ali (Apr 13, 2014)

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The Vampire Dancer Saga Part 4 @ Amazon Kindle (June 13, 2016)







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