Mothers like to cook for their children

Dinner1Truth or fiction? Lies can spread and fester for years and years.

The story begins at age 5, when we moved in with our granddad. He complained about how messy we were. I remember him saying: Just look at the dirt! His Mississippi accent made it sound like do-it.

We were very messy. There was food everywhere. When parents have to work, sometimes the oldest kids look after the youngest kids. We did not know any better.

Dinner2We all slept in a mattress, and yes, there was food in the mattress. Granddad sprayed bug spray on it, and it looked like thousands of roaches came out of it.

That planted a seed that I did not like bugs. And the thought that I was sleeping with them made me sick to my stomach. Kids may have thought he was nagging, but what he said was true. He did not have roaches before we moved in and provided a food source for the roaches.

By that time, my mom was a great cook, so it was a tradition to eat Thanksgiving dinner at her house every year.

Dinner3As we grew up and started having kids and grandkids, my siblings began hosting Thanksgiving with their kids and grandkids.

I remembered Granddad’s word as I began renting and buying houses. I got to use the “Get out of jail free” card when I rented an apartment. I could truly blame the roaches on my neighbors. After they moved in, the smell outside their door was like doo-doo diapers and dead rats. I dreaded whenever that door opened. Soon enough, I had their roaches and mice. I did a bomb spray to get rid of the roaches and got a cat to take care of the mice.

Dinner4Then I got roaches and mice again after purchasing my first house. A roommate had a habit of taking food to their room and letting the bowls of cereal dry out for a few days. One day we were in the room and noticed a mouse. Soon enough, there were more mice and roaches. Said roommate, moved out, once my house was considered nasty. Even though, they were the one who started the process of feeding the mice and roaches.

Another family member had a same situation where the kids were providing food to feed an infestation.

They liked to cook for their kids too, but like my roommate, did not want to visit, after the house got infested.

Dinner5I learned that lesson the hard way. Moving forward in my next 3 houses, I had a strict policy against people providing a food source for an infestation.

At the second house that I purchased, I had money one year to host Thanksgiving. That was an honor, because usually my mom or everyone’s mom hosted their children. Unexpected people showed up, but I had money that year to buy Church’s Chicken to make sure everyone had enough food.

Then times got hard. So after moving to my 3rd house, I ran out of money and was broke. Of course I was ashamed. And I was not going to call everyone and say that I am broke. However, I did not invite them at all. I was going to skip Thanksgiving that year. But at the last minute, said “roommate” chipped in and used Food Stamps to buy a small dinner for us and her kids.

Then unexpected people showed up. And she was mad because she was cooking food for her children, not grownups that did not chip in or bring anything to the dinner. Awkward!

And let it be mentioned, why were those grownups at my house, instead of their Mom’s house? She loved to cook for them, but they thought her house was too messy.

They still could have taken their Mom to a different location to cook Thanksgiving for them. She used to beg them to come for dinner. So I know her feelings were hurt.

Said grownups got mad at me about that. I think they thought they were turned away for a different reason and the lack of communication festered the bad feelings for a decade.

The bottom line is that we only get a certain amount of time to enjoy our Mom’s home cooking.

I wish I could eat any dinner with my Mom, especially Thanksgiving when she made Turkey, cornbread, Chitlins, greens. I will never have that dinner again.

But it is not too late for those grownups to have a family dinner with their mom.

Happy Easter dinner!

Happy Mother’s day

Happy Thanksgiving dinner!

 

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