The Vampire Dancer Saga: Part 5: Dance Showdown in St. Louis, 6/25/12

VampireDancer1A fictional tale of dances from the 1900s-2010s

Part 5: Dance Showdown in St. Louis, the 1940s

Kat Dealy replaced Rook Rurke as the co-host alongside Bom Terguson for the 3000 Vampire Olympics Finals.

“Welcome Hepcats to our 3000 Vampire Olympic Finals. Let’s give a big hand to our JEEJEDGES,” announced Kat as the Special Guest judges took their seat. Bom cracked and said, “No one can understand your cockney British accent Kat, why don’t you just say: Judges?”

The audience laughed and Kat turned red.

Kat continued, “As you know tonight’s very special competition will be to see which team can Change theHepcat World Back to the way events really happened. After our exciting Semi Final round where each team Changed the World Events from what originally happened. Without further adieu, let’s welcome back our Finalists!

Team Diary of the Mad Vamps, who showed us how killing Adolph Hitler would change the world.

Team Turd Blue who prevented slavery from happening in America.

And last but not least Team Butchers & Bakers who showed prevented the Titantic from sinking.

Let’s give them a big round of applause,” said Kat. Then she continued, “Let’s not forgot about the teams who did not make it to the Finals:

Pearl Harbor2Teams Mutant Weirdoes, Spare Tracks, Braden Hunchbacks and Le Monsters! All of the teams are in the audience giving their full support to the remaining competitors. Let’s give them a big round of applause as well.”

Little did anyone know, Team Braden Hunchbacks was not in a supportive frame of mind at all. In fact, they felt they were cheated and should have been in the finals. So they hatched a plan to sabotage the Final competition. The secret plan was to distract the charming Special Police Witches while they were changing back the effects of stopping World War I. But their devious plan was to instead of stopping it, they were going to bring the war to the competition and combine it with the attack on Pearl Harbor and World War II. With WWI, WWII and the Pearl Harbor attacks combined, the Bradens could easily wipe out all of the Olympic Finalists so they could still have a chance of winning.

The Charming Witch Police and Collins were super busy that night. Not only did they have to reverse TeamDancers Mutants Weirdoes stopping World War I, but they also had to “glamour” in all of the special celebrity guests for the competition.  Also the theme for the 3000 Vampire Olympics was Jive Dancing in the 1940s.  So they also had to teleport the audience, guest and their costumes (like the Zoot Suit) back to the 1940s.

They were nearly exhausted just teleporting in the special guest performers like Leana Horn, Die-Anna Boss, ZooEee Dresser, Gudy Jarland, MiLiza Linnelli, Pritchard Prior, Jichael Mackson, Ripsy Nussell, Glees-Rachel Mama, Chuichi Nagumo, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Franken-Bum and the Great Gizzard of Woz. The hardest special guest to teleport in was Kab Kalloway, as he and his band would be replacing Mr. Dancers2Wheel’s band for the Finals. Kab and the special guest performers were going to compete in a Gizzard of Woz Mini Contest. This contest will determine the best version of Woz, as each Team had 10 minutes to present songs, dances and scenes from their version.

The first team to compete in the Woz Mini Contest was Team Gudy Jarland. She and her daughter and the original cast got a rousing 10 minute standing ovation after their performance. Gudy had a secret weapon in the competition that gave her an edge. Her maid and cook, Viva Kelly was from St. Louis and had taught her team members a spirited version of the Jitterbug dance. Although this dance was cut from their 10 minute contest, Viva showed off a few steps at near the end. Gudy had to beg Viva to come tonight. Viva on the verge of getting a marriage proposal from her beau Jac’ichi. Jac’ichi was stuck in Japan on the Japanese Imperial Naval boat, awaiting shore leave orders to he could Lena3propose to his sweetie Viva.

Team Die-Anna Boss did a modern version of the Gizzard of Woz. The audience loved seeing Jichael Mackson again. This team did a great job by adding the both the West Coast and East Coast Swing and Jive.

Then Team ZooEee Dresser did cool 3 part presentation that featured the tin man as the prominent dancer for the Merengue number.

The audience was not too thrilled with the “Broadway” version Gizzard of Woz featuring Glees-Rachel Mama. WickedBut their version of the Lindy Hop Boogie-Woogie-style, was absolutely wicked.

The judges enjoyed a Salute to the 1940s by Kab Kalloway and his band with guest singers Leana Horne, Gudy Jarland and dances by the Nickles Brothers while they calculated the scores for the Mini-Contest.

Kat took the stage again and announced, The Mini Contest winner will be announced later in the show. But now it is time for our Vampire Olympic Team Finalists to show us how they have changed the world back. Let’s give it up for Teams Diary of the Mad Vamps, Team Turd Blue and Judy1Team Butchers & Bakers!”

The 3 teams were matched evenly with scores of 29 each. Just as the judges were about to announce the 3rd place winner, Team Bradens of Hunchbacks grabbed the mic from Kat! Jane shouted “We should have won fair and square, now let’s show you how real magic is done!”

The audience gasped as they began seeing soldiers from WWI and WWII enter the room. The Japanese Imperial Naval boat soldiers began firing at the American WWI and WWII soldiers until Chuichi Nagumo ordered them to STAND DOWN! After they quit firing, then Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered the American soldiers to stand down as well.

Just then the charming Special Police Witches and the Collins captured Team Braden Hunchbacks. As a special punishment, they shrank the Bradens using voodoo dolls and then jailed them in a special enchanted Dollhouse. RubySlippers1Eckels said, “I’ll take it from here” as she shrank herself and teleported into the Dollhouse.

Bom said it was time to announce the winner of the 3000 Vampire Olympics. “In 3rd place we have the Butchers & Bakers!

And in 2nd place we have, hold on just a second audience. For the first time in history, we have a TIE for first place. The winners are Teams Diary of the Mad Vamps and Team Turd Blue!”

Kat said, “Well isn’t that special? I wonder if that has something to do with the networks renewing both shows for the upcoming season?

And now it is time to announce the winner or our Mini Gizzard of Woz contest. The winner is: Team Gudy Jarland!

In honor of your special win, you may pick one special spell, potion, teleportation or glamour spell.”

Viva made a wish just then, “There’s no place like home.” Gudy granted that wish and more. She also arranged for Viva’s beau, Jac’ichi, to be released from the Japanese Concentration Camp and teleported him right into Viva’s arms. Viva and Jac’ichi planned to wed in her hometown.

Viva told him, “I can’t wait to meet you in St. Louis!”
For more Dance Gossip & Goodies, check out my book, “Learn to Belly Dance Textbook” available at and Barnes & Noble :

Now is your time to Join the Conversation! Comments, questions, concerns, controversy, rebuttals, tributes, blog suggestions, guest bloggers, etc., are all welcome!

What was your favorite dance, singer, movie or fashion from the 1940s?

143 comments on “The Vampire Dancer Saga: Part 5: Dance Showdown in St. Louis, 6/25/12

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